So, I am, as usual, struggling with this wait. I really can't complain because we are going for our ultrasound way sooner than anticipated but the wait is painful all the same. I have been feeling great, which makes me worried. I no longer have the headache that has been a constant since 5dp3dt. I no longer have an upset tummy and I certainly don't have sore tatas. Today I was busy cleaning the house (my cousin is coming to stay) and I didn't even need a nap after all of the scrubbing, mopping and vacuuming. I am not even peeing a lot! It makes me wonder what is going on inside of me. I know if I have the pleasure of morning sickness I will wish it all back but for now it would be comforting. Yesterday I poas and I freaked out! At first there was only one line and it was such a shock because even at 9dp3dt the two lines came up immediately. So I waited for 3 minutes and then I saw a very faint, and I mean faint, second line. This obviously still freaked me out but then I realized the faint line was the control line (I called the 1800 number to make sure). Actually hubby even peed on the stick to make sure the line that I had wasn't the control line (not a proud moment). So here I am waiting for an ultra sound and my body is giving me no indication that anything is going on inside of me. By the way a couple of days ago I had some very dark veins in my breasts and they seem to have disappeared. I hope I either imagined those lines or that it means nothing.
Anyways, on to my next, less neurotic, part of the post. I am just curious when people have told close friends and family they were pregnant. I know it is super early but I am very tempted to tell some very close people. I have told my sister (obviously because she is very invested) and my parents. I am just wondering when we tell people who are close to us but not immediate family. Hubby thinks Thursday would be appropriate, when we see the gestational sac (please god!!). I agree with him that I can't wait until we are 3 months (although that is what I know most people do) but is Thursday too early? Should we wait until we see a heart beat (please, please, let that happen)? Obviously I am not going to go announce it over facebook (now or ever) but what about our closest friends and extended family. Just curious when you girls told? My feeling is that if anything bad happens, it isn't going to make it any more or less difficult if we have told those closest to us. If anything it will make them understand what we are going through even more. They will literally have to visit me in the mental hospital if ANYTHING goes wrong, so why shouldn't I tell them. If it sounds like I am trying to convince you that now is as good as a time as any, it is because I am trying to convince myself it is okay to allow myself this pleasure. It will be the first time in my life I can say anything positive as far as our journey to conceive I just want to make the announcement too early.
Since most of our friends followed my blog everyone knew the day of my first beta. I agree - if things went sour I would still want them to know so for us it was an easy decision.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I found your blog recently and was happily and silently following along but just had to weigh in and (attempt to!!) reassure you on the lack of symptoms. I was the exact.same.way. Never got morning sickness. Never got big boobs. Never got tired in the first tri. Never got sore boobs. And I had double the hormones with twins! Oh, how I prayed and prayed for symptoms as I was a nervous wreck (I was desperate for morning sickness!) but they never came. And I now have two perfect, healthy babies. So please, as much as you can, try not to let that part freak you out! And huge congrats on your BFP!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe told right away. We figured that we would rather have the support of friends and family if the unthinkable happened rather than suffer alone and silently. We knew we'd need the support no matter which way we went.
ReplyDeleteFunny girl with hubby POAS!!!! I told close friends and whe I m/c they were amazing and gave me the support I needed. It's your call tho!
ReplyDeleteI think it would be safe to tell after you hear/see the heartbeat. It shouldn't be too far down the road and it will make you feel better to know that there is a strong little heart pumping before people find out.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel though! I want to tell a bunch of people!
My blog is open to my family, friends and Fairyeggs - so everybody knew. However I asked them via my post to not tell anyone else. Everybody except my mother and father complied. I think they were just so excited they couldn't help themselves. Eventually I made an official FB announcement around three months. Good luck with your decision!
ReplyDeletewe always told people close to us, in the sence that if they knew, they could support us either way. A good judge would be asking 'would I want to tell them if I lost the baby too'. We found some friends we told the first time around were very insensitive when we lost a pregnancy, so in the future they were not told, whereas, some were just amazing, and cried and prayed with us over the loss.
ReplyDeleteI told family and a handful of close friends at 6 wks after we saw my son's heartbeat, but I waited to tell everyone except our parents until 12 weeks with our daughter just because of how many people I knew that had losses.
ReplyDeleteI will say my son and daughter are 2 1/2 and 13 months and I got pregnant naturally (they are IVF babies, severe male factor) and I had a miscarriage. Then 2 months later we used our last 2 embryos for a frozen cycle (my son is the result of our first FET) and everything was going perfectly until 6 weeks when I miscarried again. The first miscarriage I told family and a few friends, partly because we were in shock of becoming pregnant naturally, but the next miscarriage I am glad I didn't tell anyone but our parents and 2 close friends as it was much harder. I never thought of these things as I had 2 healthy babies and easy pregnancies besides very long morning sickness.
I think you should tell whoever you are comfortable with telling...like family and maybe a few friends and once you see the heartbeat it will be easier and you can tell a few more people.
Sorry such a long comment, I have been through both good and bad outcomes so just wanted to share. I am so excited for your ultrasound!
i have people in my life who know all that is happening, so beta days have always been days of phone calls.....but only to a select small group. i tell those people who i want to know either way. whether we end up with good news or not so good.... the people who know are the people who know everything anyways, and people i always need in my corner.
ReplyDeletecan't wait to hear about your ultrasound.....hoping for good things!
xoxo
Just remmember every day feels different!. I told a handful of friends right away - but told each they were the ONLY person who knew - and warned them the chances that "it might not stick". Of course each person who knows is another person to face up to if something goes wrong!
ReplyDeleteI told the people who knew that I was having the IVF...those who are closest to me. If someone hasn't supported me through the process, I can't be sure that they'll support me (or even find out without me having to broach the topic uncomfortably) through any "issues." You should do whatever feels good to you! (P.S. - I just had my 6-week ultra-sound, which was AWESOME, and I have virtually no symptoms either. My doctor said that this is FINE! Don't worry...)
ReplyDeleteI'd tell anyone you are close with that you would want to know should a loss occur. I had a loss, and was glad that I had told everyone so I could mope around and everyone knew what was happening. It's completely up to you, but I'd say enjoy it! Shout it from the rooftops if you want! New reader here and I wanted to tell you congrats!! Sending good sticky vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteWe told our close friends and family right away because they knew our story/history. I have never understood waiting until after the first trimester (just can't imagine waiting that long). We told everyone else after we heard the fast heartbeat (like once it gets in the 170s around 7 weeks). I was really grateful after my loss that my friends knew because they could mourn with me.
ReplyDeleteBe selective. I'm more conservative about who I've shared IF-related stuff. I like having friends who know nothing about what's going on so I can just be "normal" with them, rather than having to explain "no, it didn't work" one more time.
ReplyDeleteWe told family right away...close friends when we heard the heattbeat on the Doppler...which was around 11 weeks. If something goes wrong...you will have family for support no matter what...so I personally don't see harm in telling family after an ultrasound like yours. And don't stress over your symptoms...I know, easier said than done. That is one thing i didn't realize early on in my first pregnancy...is how little your symptoms can be so early on. I was worried like crazy until ms hit around 7 to 8ish weeks...and then I started worrying about my belly size...which I didn't realize how long it took to have a noticeable belly as well! It's never ending!
ReplyDeleteWe told anyone who was following along with the IVF pretty early - around the heartbeat time. But I waited to tell everyone at work until about 12 weeks. Tell whenever you want - enjoy this time!
ReplyDeleteI told people that had been following our IVF journey. They felt like my "real" friends and the people I would want to be there for me if something happened. So excited for your ultrasound!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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