Is it possible to go through the stages of grief in less than 2 hours? I feel like I have. I had my doctors appointment and again I did not get any of my questions answered. I am so mad at myself but more mad at my doctor. I am beginning to think he is intenionally trying to cut my off and rush me out (I know I sound naive). I have always had so much faith in my doctor. Mostly because we have a family connection and he knows my dad through golf so I figured I was getting some sort of personal care. However, it really doesn't seem that way anymore. He never remembers anything about my previous appointments and where we are in the process to conceive. Today he actually asked me if we wanted to start thinking about conceiving after we know now how severe the endo is. Uh no shit Sherlock, that's how we found the endo in the first place!!!!!!!! Then he asked about the pain from recovering from my surgery. By the way I have seen him twice since my surgery and we have discussed it both times. Not only that but he stands in the doorway and doesn't even sit while we are talking. So here's how the appointment went from what I can remember. Hi Kelly (me) how are you dealing with your pain? This confused me because the last time I met with him I had told him there was no pain. Although since then I have started to have pain so I felt like I had to remind him that it has just started in the last month. Then he asked if I wanted to consider trying to conceive, and I gulped down hard and said and I would like to be very aggressive. He said we should do an x-ray to see if my tubes are blocked. I reminded him that I had, had an HSG before the surgery and that both my tubes were clear. He seemed confused but continued on and said that there were some abnormalities. I asked if he meant with my tubes and then he said your surgery yielded much more severe endo than we had anticipated. I asked what kind of abnormalities again and he said there was lots of scar tissue. Then I asked him if I could have an ultra sound to see if I had more cysts because I am having lots of pains. He agreed and he said that we will get together again in 6 weeks once we get the results from the x-rays of my tubes and the ultra sound. He said once we know if the tubes are blocked we can make a plan. I started to ask my list of questions and he said to save them until we have all of the facts. I felt like he was blowing me off!!
Now I have an entirely new list of questions: Did anyone else have another HSG after surgery? Do tubes block from having surgery to remove endo????? Why would we have done the surgery then? Can your tubes become malformed in 4 months?? What did he mean by abnormalities? Why didn't he mention these abnormalities before???
When he said we will make a plan after we find out if my tubes are blocked he mentioned that if they are blocked we will go right to IVF (obviously!!!!). Then he said even if they aren't blocked we can discuss IVF because it might be the best avenue. What about my fucking egg quality?????? Why didn't he answer that question? Why do I always have to wait?????