Friday, August 13, 2010

Melt Down

Well I had an absolute melt down today. First of all I hadn't left the house since I got home from my drs appointment. Actually I really hadn't even left the couch. I was exhausted (probably from over sleeping and doing nothing). Hubby came home from work and I mentioned that I had sent the dr an email. He only half listened and shrugged his shoulders and I snapped. I feel like I am so much more invested in this process then him and he just goes with the flow. I know in my brain that it would be dangerous if we were both obsessed but some more interest would be nice. So I just shut down. I started sobbing left the room and headed to our bed to hide under the covers. Of course hubby followed me and apologized for not being more sensitive but I couldn't get myself together. I think I am having a mental break down. We were supposed to go to his brothers for dinner (who has a one year old) so I told him I wasn't going. He said he understood but that he felt he should stay home too. Eventually I settled down and begged him to go without me. I just don't want his family to judge us and think we flake out on plans. The reason I didn't want to go is because his brother always makes it sound like it is just us for dinner and then a bunch of couples (with kids) show up. We are always the odd people out. All of the women talk about kids and pregnancy and I feel trapped. Plus my SIL's best friend just had a baby less than a month ago so I didn't really want to hear "the birth story". Anyways, hubby asked me if I was comfortable going if we were the only ones going, when I replied yes he texted his brother. I was mortified thinking he said I was only coming if it was just us but he was much more clever than that. We were responsible for desert so he just asked how many people we needed to feed. To my great surprise we were the only people there and we had a nice time (no baby talk!!!).
Tomorrow I have my neice and nephew for a sleepover so it should be fun. I am going to take them bowling, to glow in the dark mini golfing, and then to pizza hut. It should be fun, so wish me luck!


  1. It makes sense that you lost it a bit, you have been through so much, you probably needed that release. Thumbs up to the crafty hubby, I think it is great that you try to take care of yourself and if that means not being around alot of mommies right now, so be it. Hang in there.

  2. I think that email was phenomenal. Great job, I'm so impressed!

    Of course you had a meltdown. This is a brutal journey. And it's so important that you get the support you need. From hubby and your doctors. I'm glad everything turned out ok with the hubby and dinner and all.

    Seriously, I wish you were my Aunt...a night of bowling, mini golf, and pizza sounds pretty good right about now! ;) Enjoy that!!!

  3. I am the same way! Its hard to put yourself in situations that you know you are going to feel uncomfortable in. Good work from the hubby. It is funny to me how they can somehow find ways to "save the day." Must be the "dad" in them :) Glad your day turned out good, and you got to spend time with your niece and nephew :)