This weekend was our wedding anniversary and G planned a trip to Niagara Falls for us. It is a very rare thing for G to have a weekend off and we made the most of it. We had a really nice dinner at The Keg overlooking the falls and then hit the casino. Then on Saturday we headed over the border for some outlet shopping before we went golfing. Then we had a couple of Margaritas and hit the casino again. Although we didn't win any money we had a nice time together.
I assume that most husbands in the IF world frequently talk about baby making plans but G is not that guy. He is happy to take a back seat and let me make the appointments and decisions. I would prefer he was online researching and making suggestions but that just isn't him. I am pretty sure he doesn't even like talking about it at all. In fact he likes to pretend the problem doesn't really exist. He puts a positive swing on everything (this can be annoying) and is always optomistic. He absolutely never brings up having children and doesn't seem negatively impacted by our struggles at all. This weekend was one of the first weekends he actually fully engaged in a conversation about IVF. He thinks we should just go for it sooner than later and seems to think it will work without a doubt. I try to warn him about the stats but he just doesn't hear it. When I pointed out that private adoption costs about the same but in the end you are pretty much guaranteed becoming parents (although I know it is a lengthy and involved process) he wasn't interested. Why isn't he as invested at I am? Grrrr
B isn't really the proactive talker about IVF and such either. But I like that G is so confident about IVF. Although he needs to know the odds, it's great that he's so on board. But I know it can be really frustrating to feel like you're both not on the same page. And I KNOW how annoying the "positive swing" can be...sometimes you just have to sit in it and feel the pain, not look at the silver lining. You know?
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you got to have a nice weekend away! I've never been to Niagra Falls but it sounds awesome. We love a little casino action every once in a while. B and I plan to hit Vegas sometime soon!
Happy anniversary. By the way, I know you mentioned that you think that most husbands are way more involved than yours, turns out I think he is totally normal. My husband googles everything, except IF stuff. Infuriating but totally normal. Thank you for your kind words on my blog, I am looking forward to following along with you.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! I agree with you on the hubby. Mine pretty much lets me drive too. But only recently has he been more emotionally involved and open about some of the sadness he feels. If this is something you want from G, he will come around in time I suspect. But maybe he just needs some gentle coaxing :-)
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