19 months and barely hanging on

Some days I feel like we are holding on by a thread. Yesterday was a thin thread day. Actually it was the scariest day since the boys were born. Fynn managed to break into our cleaning cupboard, that had a baby proofed lock on it, and drink a gulp of Pine Sol. Yep, not going to be winning The Mother of the Year Award around here. Please do me a favour and move you cleaning products to the highest shelf in your house. He is fine but it was terrifying.
I say it every month but my boys are busy and some might describe them as terrors. They climb constantly and find anything they aren't supposed to get into. They smash their heads into walls or the ceramic floor if I say no and have temper tantrums daily. Give me strength!!!  When we go to the park all they want to do is throw rocks or sand.
Sometimes i feel like an abused woman. They hit me, they pull my hair and occasionally they bite me. This is not a fun stage.
I can't go to the bathroom without them loosing their minds and throwing themselves violently at the door. If I let them come in they try to put the toilet brush in their mouths and bang the baby proofed doors as loud as they can. They also whack me with the toilet seat by trying to open and shut it.Lets's not even get started on the toilet paper.
 I can't even sweep the floor they scream to hold the broom, step in the dirt or try to eat the crumbs. When I feed them they throw their food on the floor, take the lid off of their sippy cups and dump it in the floor, kick the bottom of their food trays and scream bloody murder.
Even our sacred bath time is no longer peaceful. They are obsessed with taking the plug out of the bottom of the bath, they scream and throw fits if they can't play with it. They try to drink their body wash and I have to sit on the edge of the bath or they climb up and try to stand on the edge.
I take them out at least twice a day because if they are constantly stimulated they behave much better. Luckily they nap well and sleep 12 hour a night or I would be in an institute.
I know they are frustrated because they aren't able to communicate their needs so hopefully an end is in sight. Plus once their attention span is longer than 5 minutes maybe I can keep them stimulated in the house longer. They are physical guys and they are constantly on the go, what the heck am I going to do in the winter. Don't get me wrong I have drop in programs we can go to almost every day but without the park where will they get all of their energy out.

Toddlers

It's official these guys are toddlers, I have been saying it for a while but seriously they look so grown up :(

Brothers

 Big Chair

 New Coats

 Giving Diego a drink

 At the park and a little drool

 On the teeter totter, his favourite

 Fynn Blue Eyes

 Best Buds

 Beautiful day at the park

 Wagon Ride

 Indoor playground

 Big boy

 New trampoline

Slide

Two Good Days in a Row!

We are in an "Interesting" stage here. The boys have been whining a lot and if they don't like something I say they bang their heads on the floor or wall. NOT FUN!!!!!!!! I think it is their frustration with not being able to communicate and express themselves. Speech is still coming but not fast enough for them.
On a positive note they have had two great days with very minimal whining. Thank goodness because it was getting on my last nerve

Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)

I had never imagined myself as a stay at home mom. Hubby doesn't make a ton of money and kids are expensive, plus I love teaching. So today when I made the final decision not to return to work I panicked. Up until now I have always seen myself as being on an extended maternity leave. However, now it is official, I have no job to go back to and it is damn scary. Teaching jobs here are very difficult to come by and I am risking my career to take another year off. We can't sustain the family on one income for longer than that so this is a bit of a risk. I had always pictured myself as a kick ass stong working mom that could balance both, ugh what a hard decision.

Epic Fail!!!!

So hubby had a very rare weekend off. He works at a Golf Course so he literally works every weekend so when he managed to score this weekend off we wanted to plan something special. We decided to head to Niagara Falls for a fun filled weekend. We loaded the boys in the car and headed out. They did a fantastic job in the car and we had an amazing day. HOWEVER, they refused to sleep in the very nice hotel room we booked. We are usually bargain shoppers and never pay retail for anything and this time we splurged. We got a two bedroom suite with a separate living room and it SHOULD have been perfect. Well, not so much. I should say that I am a schedule person. Not in my regular life but in my twin mommy life. The boys generally only nap in their cribs, I have made a point of not napping them in car seats or stroller and taught them to self sooth early on. The result is they are awesome sleepers. I can plop them in their cribs and they roll over and go to sleep (for as long as I can remember). They barely ever fight a nap and if anything sometimes we have to wake them up from naps so that bedtime isn't pushed back. So my first mistake was probably not napping the boys at home in the morning. Basically by 6pm we had overtired boys who had napped about 45 minutes all day (they usually nap about 4 hours). Our assumption that they would be exhausted and fall into their cribs was VERY wrong. They lost their minds and we ended up having to leave the hotel and 3am to head home. I am so sick about it because we had an entire day planned today and missed out on so much fun. Plus, what a waste of money.
Anyways, live and learn and we did make some memories.

18 months

I feel like I literally just did my 17 month post, partly because I did it late and also because time is flying like always. I don't think we have had any major milestones this past month. Although you are using a spoon to eat your yogurt in the morning (still pretty messy but getting better on a daily basis) and drinking from cups.   I have been dreading the 18 month milestone for some reason. It seems that suddenly there seem to be a ton of expectations and unlike in the early months some of them we aren't meeting, specifically  language milestones.

Here is the list I have been looking at for language:

1. Understand the meaning of in and out, off and on?
I am actually not too sure about this one. The boys put things in and out of containers when we are playing together or when they are playing by themselves. However I am not sure if when I say "put the ball in the box" that they know the word "in" or if it is repitition. Honestly we haven't really worked with "on and off"

2. Points to more than 2 body parts.
We have been working on this for the past couple of weeks and they get feet 100% of the time but only point to their head and tummy about 60% of the time when I que them. Sometimes I say "where is your head" and they point to their mouths, eyes, or ears.

3. Use at least 20 words consistently?
Well they use about 15 sounds/words consistently although not every day. I would say in a day they probably use 10 of their words. Furthermore the "words" are more like sounds. Like mentioned in previous posts cookie sounds is just cook, or cracker is just crk (more like a sound). They still say dis instead of this, dat instead of that and call everything that moves a cark (car)  or cruck (truck)

4. Respond with words or gestures to simple questions (Where’s teddy? What’s that?)?
They do point to things when I ask where they are but they don't say anthing. If I say where is the bear they will generally bring it to me or gesture over to it. They might on a very rare occassion gesture and say dat (that)

5. Demonstrate some pretend play with toys (gives teddy bear a drink, pretends a bowl is a hat)?
YES!!!! They do this :)

6. Make at least four different consonant sounds (p ,b, m, n, d, g, w, h)?
YES!!! This one too!!!!

7. Enjoy being read to and sharing simple books with you?
Well if by enjoying they mean constantly bringing me books, sitting on my lap, flipping 3 pages, pointing out some objects and then quickly running away then yes they love doing this

8. Point to pictures using one finger?
Yes they do point to pictures and when I say the name of the item they seem to nod or just look at me intently. They don't try to repeat it or anything. Although sometimes they will say book, truck, or car when I point to it but this is VERY rare.


Here are the 17 month milestones that we should have exceeded:


1. Uses a handful of words regularly
Well if we count sounds as word then yes. They do say ba (ball), cark (car), Cruck (truck), Crck (cracker), cook (cookie), dis (this), dat (that) etc. regularly. I would assume a hand full is 5 right

2. Responds to directions (e.g. "Sit down")
YES, we can do this !!!!

3. Dances to music
For sure they looooooooove to dance!

4. Enjoys pretend games
Is peekaboo a pretend game? If so then heck yah. They also like to bring my pretend food from their play kitchen and I pretend to eat it and pretend to eat it too. They like to put random things on their head too pretending it is a hat and thinking they are silly.

5. Feeds doll-I just tried when I saw this and they think it is hilarious to put a spoon up to their stuffed animals mouth.

6. Sorts toys by colour, shape, or size
Not even close. Colour, holy poop they don't have a clue what a colour is! Shape, well okay they do collect balls or cars and pile them up.

7. Likes riding toys
Heck yeah since they were about 10 months

8. Talks more clearly
Well it is all relative but yes more clearly than last month

9. Kicks ball forward
yep, but only once or twice ever. They are pretty coordinated though.

I know I sound like some crazy mom who is obsessed with Milestones and that isn't 100% the truth. I always say I just want happy kids and I really do mean that. I just want to make sure I am doing everything to facilitate their learning and if they need extra assistance I want to identify it early on. Anyways, I love these guys and they make me laugh all of the time. They play together really well and are real characters. As the months progress we really get to see their personalities emerge and it is so much fun.

 

Even the bad days are good days

So Fynn has been sick for the past week with a high temperature and he is just plain miserable. The poor guy just hasn't been himself. Then yesterday the fever broke and he broke out in a terrible rash. About a month ago Hudson had the same symptoms and was diagnosed with Roseola. Today I thought the worst was over so we ventured to my parent's to welcome my mom home from England. Man was that a mistake. The boys were wild animals and basically ransacked their entire home, not to mention they threw multiple temper tantrum.
However, every day even the bad days are good days. I have my boys and nothing could be better. That doesn't mean I didn't want to rip my hair out and run away....lol.

Poor Hudson is having a bad day.

 

Hudson and his momma :)

Fynn looking serious

Auntie Christine, Cousin Ruby and Hudson

Happy Fynn

 

 

                                        

Happy with his bowl of Cheerios 

Yum!

After eating a popsicle in kiddie pool!

 

Rockstar :)

17 Months (I thought I already did this)

Another month, holy cow! I don't have babies anymore :(


This month really makes me realize that my baby boys are no longer, I have two toddlers and it is bitter sweet. I know this shouldn`t be a huge realization but it just clicked. I am very excited about what life has in store for us but I would be lying if I said I wasn`t a bit (or a lot) sad that you are growing up so fast. I think knowing that I can`t and won`t have another baby, like ever, makes it even more sad. Don`t get me wrong, I am not complaining, lord knows at one time in my life (not that long ago) I thought I would never have a baby so I appreciate every minute with my boys. I literally still cry (a little too often) when I am looking into my son`s eyes. I am actually kind of lucky (probably what I tell myself to hoping one day I actually believe it) because I cherished every second with my guys knowing I wouldn`t experience it again. However if I was younger and had some good eggs I would love to have more babies(I used to hate greedy people like myself who had kids and complained about wanting more).

Fynn
I am pretty sure you are going to be a total comedian. You are so funny to us already and you don`t really speak. You have comedic timing and squel with delight when you find something funny. You are sensitive too though. When your brother is upset you often walk over to him and give him your soother (and you LOVE your soother). You also love playing catch with mommy but take breaks to put your head on my lap or to climb up on my lap. For some reason you yelp every time I throw your ball to you, you think it is the funniest thing in the world.
This month we said goodbye to bottles. For the last little while we just gave you a bottle after your bath but we decided to try to eliminate it (I have heard you are supposed to ween off of  bottles at 16 months). I started giving you milk with your dinner instead of water. Sometimes you do have a snack before bed but most nights you are fine with nothing. You eat everything I give you and you often walk to the pantry and try to help yourself to the cookies. You love to say cook (cookie) and crack (cracker) because those are your favourite snacks. I am so excited to hear you talk that I generally have a hard time saying no :)
As I mentioned in a previous post I freaked out a bit about milestones this month (and pretty much every month since you were born.....lol). The truth is you are doing wonderfully and as long as you are happy and healthy I am content to watch you learn things when you are ready.
You have become my real little buddy. We have always had a close bond because as you know you were a little fussy as a baby and I wanted to make sure I was doing my best to address your `concerns`but now that you don`t whine ( as much, let`s not get completely ahead of ourselves). However, now you come over to me not just when you want something or you are upset. You check in with me (often), you bring me things (often) and you come and lay on me (only for a couple of minutes but I will take it). When something is funny you always want me to see it and you always look over to see what I think.
Your favourite song is Ìtsy Bitsy Spider and you love to put the moon up with your arms and you even do the spider climbing up the water spout. You also know to rock back and forth when I sing `Row Row Row your Boat`. Another thing you love to do is run to your phone every time you hear me say hello, you pretend to call daddy.
I love you my boy, you are one brave, fearless, loving, caring and passionate little man.

For my record
I think it is safe to say that your speech is a bit of concern but as mentioned before we have a referral for the middle of August and the good news is that you are learning new words  so we are moving forward at the very least :)
Words: dis (this), dat (that), gook (book), crack (cracker), cook (cookie), mama (milk), cruck (truck), cark (car), dada, dn ssss (downstairs), ba (ball), gog (dog), ess (yes), souss (soother)


Hudson
Holy cow Hudson you are the master of the meltdowns now. You have started to bang your head on the ground when mommy doesn`t give you what you want. You also try to hit your brother, yourself and money. You aren`t a huge fan of when mommy hangs out with your brother. Mommy tries to make sure we welcome you into whatever gave or activity we are planning but you generally want whatever your brother is holding and you grab it from him. When you are upset you are hard to console. I know this is pretty normal behaviour but we aren`t used to it from you because you have always been our buddha baby who just went with the flow. I am doing my best to make sure I put in some good Hudson time before I engage in a game with your brother. He isn`t really as interested in what you are up to so it has been helping a little. You still have the most amazing smile on the planet. Literally your entire face smiles, your eyes squint almost shut and it is so adorable it hurts. You also love your blanket and any stuffed animal you can get your hands on. You snuggle up with them and love them so much. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen.
You love singing and doing the actions to the Wheels on the Bus. Mommy had no idea you were taking it in (you used to just stare at her when she did it) and then suddenly one day when I was singing you just started to roll your arms and hands and beeping your nose. You smiled from ear to ear and you are so proud of yourself.
Your motor skills are developing well and today you and daddy practived screwing screws with your toy screwdriver on your mini work bench. I was amazed that you were able to do it.
You love bringing your cars over to me and making the vroom vroom sound. I have no idea how it started or why but it is funny You also make the most hilarious darth vadar kind of noise because you know daddy and I find it hilarious. Another thing that makes me laugh is that you bring me imaginary little items. Basically you come over to me like you have something in between your fingers and then you hand it to me, I say thank you and then hand it back to you. You find this very amusing. .
You are a great little eater but you seem to have one really large meal a day where you pack a ton away. You absolutely love fish and avacado this month, you shovel it in.....lol.

Your speech is also behind but you are also slowly learning new words and you certainly like to babble. You point out things and passionately tell me all about them. You also love the fan. You yell at me (in your language) until I put it on, it doesn`t matter how cold or hot it is in the house.
For my record
Speech: Dat (that), Up, bye bye, book, crack (cracker), cark (car), ba (ball), dada, wow, mama, gog (dog)
Although we still don`t do television mommy has been letting you watch more Baby Einstein Videos (probably even worse than t.v)  lately. I used to limit it to one episode per day but now you probably watch 3 (20 minutes) videos per day. I have a bit of guilt about this but you love it and some part of me wondered if it would help with language aquistion.

Babycenter can suck it!

I am not sure about anyone else but the babycentre updates that they email me stress me out. I stopped reading them for a long time because my boys never seemed to meet half of the milestones.They were crawling by 7 months, walking by 12 but as far as the other milestones go, we just never made the cut. Even though I know twins, boys specifically, are usually a bit behind and they were premature it still bothered me.  I know my boys are who they are and as long as I am doing my best with them that should be good enough but I still worry. Like everyone says we all develop when we are ready and every child is different I just want them to be "normal".  Whatever the heck that means!  I wouldn't change them for the world so my worries are pretty counterproductive, but they are in my head just the same. Anyways, yesterday I went ahead and read the most recent email. Well now I am totally stressed out. My boys are supposed to be sorting shapes and colours, NOT EVEN CLOSE. They do go around making piles and moving them from place to place but they just gather all of the cars or all of the boxes (still sorting in my opinion).  They should be colouring, using a spoon and drinking from a cup. Okay we have been working on this but it certainly isn't like they do these things unassisted.  By the way who gives their 16 month old a cup with no lid without seriously close supervision? Hudson is actually really good at drinking and I can sit next to him and let him drink while I watch him closely (I actually try to hold the cup for him but he refuses). The problem is he gets distracted and if I wasn't there to stop him he would just tip it over.  It's not the end of the world but I would prefer not to have to clean up water 5 times a day. When they colour their biggest focus is on how to eat the crayon, so I let them scribble for a second and then usually end up taking the crayon away when they start gnawing at it. They are definitely behind on the spoon thing again they just want to chew on it. They can scoop some yogurt on a spoon but end up putting the wrong end of the spoon in the yogurt and don't really notice how little they are getting and what a mess they are making. I guess it is all part of the process though. Let's not even talk about speech. Hudson literally only says 3-5 words in a day. They are suggesting that the boys should be putting two words together and should have around 20 words and should be repeating what I say. I know it isn't because I don't talk enough because I never shut up, I guess they just aren't ready. I feel like I am constantly narrorating our every move, including bowel movements (mine and theirs). I know it will all come in time, but like every mom I just want everything to be okay and to happen when it is "supposed" to.
Just for my own record here are the words they say (half of them I probably shouldn't even be counting)
Fynn: 1. ball (sounds like ba) , 2.dada (I don't think it means daddy he says it randomly), 3. downstairs (doesn't really sound like that but is starts with a d sound and is two syllables and he says it when he is at the top of the stairs and wants to go down), 4.book (sounds like gook), 5. car (sounds like cark), 6.cookie (sounds like cook), 7. cracker (sounds like crk), 8. milk (again doesn't really sound like it, more like mama), 9. This (dis) , 10. that (dat), 11. truck (sounds like cruck), 12. bye bye, 13. yes (although I am not 100% sure about this one because it just sounds like s), 14. Hi (well he used to say it and now he just waves) 15. Dog

Hudson: 1. ball (ba) , 2. dada (but not in the right context), 3. mama (milk), 4. bye bye (buby), 5. up (bup), 6. wow (although that might be him just practicing a sound) 7. baba (bottle) 8. that (dat) 9. car/truck (he mumbles something and points to both of them, it sounds like carunk) 10.dog

Infertility Support Group

My friend Betty just started a facebook support group for women struggling with infertility. If you search the name on facebook you can send her a request to join.


Dealing With Infertility: Past, Present & Future

15/16 months Months Old

Lately I have been loving reading other people's blogs but am not motivated to post on mine. I feel like I just repeat myself every month but then I am mad at myself for not recording everything when I look back.

15 & 16 months
Fynn
We moved into our new house at the end of April and it took about 2 weeks to get settled in and for you to get used to your new room. You slept at Grandma and Grandpas for 2 nights and I missed you like crazy. You are so funny and you crack me up daily. Like every month I have to say you have so much energy and you are into everything. It took me 2 entire weeks to baby proof the house and you still find things to get into. You climb on everything and it scares the beep out of me. You have fallen off of the couch and every other piece of furniture in the house. I have a safety lock on everything but you still find trouble. You are so quick that you have snuck into the bathroom more than once and unrolled at least 3 full rolls of toilet paper when daddy forgot to secure the latch.
Daddy built you a little slide and climber in the backyard (it took him about 5 hours....lol) and you love going down it upside down and backwards. You also love swimming in our kiddie pool and sitting in your watertable.
Last Sunday was Father's Day and you scared daddy to death. We were at Grandma and Grandpa's house and you kept darting for their pool. You love swimming but you have to learn the safety rules! Work with me here because daddy already loves you so much that he worries about your safety so this isn't helping our cause my boy.
You are still walking on your toes bud but we got you some better shoes so hopefully that will get you walking on your feet. I have to say that I think your toe walking is so cute but I know it isn't the best thing for your legs and feet.
You are starting to talk a little bit but mommy wants to make sure she is doing everything to help you progress a bit faster. She has booked a speech referral just to get some tips. Currently you say: momma (very rarely and it could be milk), dada, book, ball, car, baba (bottle), byebye, hi and yes. Mommy has to remember that you guys were born early and that twins and boys generally talk a little later.
You love books my boy and I couldn't be happier. Mommy was waiting for this stage and I love it each time (about a million times a day) you sit yourself in my lap and flip the pages.

Hudson
Well my mellow guy is officially gone. You have been a bit "emotional" this month and we aren't used to seeing your "express" yourself so much. You are a master at throwing a fit and you fall on the floor sobbing and screaming at the drop of a dime. It is alway over small things and they don't last long but it is quite a site. You also love to follow your brother around and steal his toys or take whatever he has in his hands (bottles and food included). I think you are just showing your love and admiration for him......lol.
You have fallen in love with a stuffed bear that we call Monroe. You sleep all cuddled up with him and it is literally the cutest thing I have EVER seen. You are also more snuggly than ever before and it melts my heart. Nearly once a week I still find myself in tears because I can't believe how lucky I am to have my babies in my arms. I know other previously infertile moms say that they almost forget the pain of  their journey but I have to say I think of it often
You have the cutest/funniest little bum ever. I know if you ever read this blog as an adult you will hate to read this but as a mom I have to mention it. It is squishy and looks unbelievably adorable when you march up and down the hallway after your nighly bath. Daddy and I get a real chuckle because you are so cute.
Your eating is funny lately and you usually have one big meal a day and then just peck at your food at other meals. Both you and your brother have picked up the bad habbit of throwing everything off of your highchair tray when you don't want it or are finished eating. It is NOT cute. We will work on that my boy.
You eyes changed colour this month. People told me after 9 months eye colour is set and that isn't the case. You and your brother were my blue eyed boys but yours have changed to a grey/green/hazel colour. They are beautiful and I love that you look even more like your dada (who has amazing eyes too).
This month we also had a consult for a little surgery that you will be having at the end of November. I can't lie my perfect baby boy I do not know how I am going to deal with this. I don't want anyone to cause my baby any pain and the idea of you hurting for even a minute makes me want to cry. I know that the doctors wouldn't recommend something you don't need but when we were in the hospital my instict was to wrap you in my arms and run out of there. I know that isn't rational but when it comes to my boys my heart takes over. Luckily daddy is level headed and makes me use my brain and stay rational.
We have our 16 month drs appointment next week and I am curious to see your measurements. You guys seem to be little peanuts compared to other kids your same age. Maybe mommy just sees you as babies.

I LOVE you my boys and you are all of my dreams come true

 Fynn on the "roller coaster" in the backyard

 Hudson with his best friend Monroe the bear

The boys being naughty playing with the umbrella (spear) from their water table

 Daddy and Huddy

Huddy at the park

 Best Buds

 Fynn at the park

Cousin Georgia and Hudson

 Fynn climbing on the same step where he got that cut over his eye. I don't "think" it will scar.

Fynn sitting in his water table. I have wild children!!!!