I had never imagined myself as a stay at home mom. Hubby doesn't make a ton of money and kids are expensive, plus I love teaching. So today when I made the final decision not to return to work I panicked. Up until now I have always seen myself as being on an extended maternity leave. However, now it is official, I have no job to go back to and it is damn scary. Teaching jobs here are very difficult to come by and I am risking my career to take another year off. We can't sustain the family on one income for longer than that so this is a bit of a risk. I had always pictured myself as a kick ass stong working mom that could balance both, ugh what a hard decision.