Sunday, December 12, 2010

Higher Flow (warning TMI)

So the amount of blood keeps getting heavier and heavier. I wouldn't call it a full period but it sure isn't "spotting". The Blood is also changing colour. It has gone from a milky lightish brown colour to a much darker brown. If you look very closely (which I have!) there is a tinge of red at times and some pink at other times. Plus, I now have a fever and am dizzy. I have no control over my emotions and I have been a disaster for the past two days. I cry at the drop of a dime and I don't care who is around. At both family Christmas parties I have managed to make a complete ass of myself, while making everyone around me completely uncomfortable! By the way, my crying isn't a pretty cry. It is a sobbing, snotty nosed, gasping for air kind of cry. Plus my cramps are out of control. Seriously worse then I have ever had. It feels like someone is taking nails and shards of glass and attacking my uterus. I always have brutal periods (especially the first full day of bleeding) but I am usually medicated and I know that it will last one maybe two days and then it will pass. With this it has been 3 full days of cramping and bleeding with no cease on the pain. I am so tempted to stop the progesterone just to bring my full period on so that I can get it over with. It seems like I am just making a shitty situation that much worse by holding my full period off and then having it as soon as we get to California Friday night! Of course I will be a good little patient and keep taking the annoying progesterone but I tell you I will be cursing the entire time I insert those G.D. things.
Just a quick note about some of the funny comments people said to me this weekend. G sent an email to his family expaining that we had just done IVF in an attempt to avoid any questions. Of course it had the opposite impact and just made people feel free to comment and ask questions. Some of the highlights were when G's stepmom came running up to me and congratulated seriously did she not understand the no means did we say we were pregnant. Then my sister in law kindly informed me that adoption was an option. This came out of her mouth after she had just told me to consider freezing my eggs (weirdest comment of the night especially because the email had mentioned that I didn't respond to the stimming and that I only made 2 eggs!). Of course we were told a number of time to relax and that we will get pregnant when we stop trying.
I am counting the minutes until we fly away!


  1. God, after that you NEED a vacation!
    Sorry, about the families. I have found that they are not more unkind and thoughtless than others, it just hurts more because you expect them to somewhat understand you and know how you feel.

  2. OMG I'm so sorry for the shitty comments! I'm also sorry you're feeling so bad and having major cramps and pain. =( Don't worry about the ugly cries and making an ass of yourself...I did the same thing yesterday. Ran out of a store sobbing while my SIL was having Santa pics done with my nieces and nephew...and my hubby was there. Long fucked up story but the Santa helper chick asked my husband when we were having kids. Cried in front of everyone and ran out.

  3. You do need a vacation! I know how hard it can be to deal with family members that don't understand IF. Keep your chin up! I hope they come to understand soon how difficult this process is.

  4. yeah...those comments are priceless. Love how people feel the need to say things that do not help what-so-ever.
    If you lived near me, I would give you some Vicodin. My cramps are nasty too.

  5. Go call your RE NOW (i mean now, do not even continue to read the rest of this comment)!!!!! The fever part of this is making me very worried and I think you need to find out what is really going on in there. I am assuming you do not get fever every time you get your period so something else is happening.
    Those comments are very strange, just goes to show how uncomfortalbe IF makes other people. I have had someone congratulate me when I told them we were doing IVF. I think people think that is a sure thing, clearly this is far from true.
    thinking of you.....

  6. So sorry this is all going so horribly for you. It really just sucks. It's so hard when clueless people make stupid comments too. I wholeheartedly agree, though, with cgd that you should call your doc asap (and maybe you already did and just didn't mention it above). These symptoms are nothing to dismiss, I think. Take care of yourself!

  7. I am so sorry, KC! I just read your last few posts and I hate that this is happening. I agree with the others... call your doc. It is MISERABLE having to dutifully finish out the progesterone and get stuck with what feels like one more POINTLESS needle for your beta when you already know what's happening (been there too many times myself). More importantly, the pain and symptoms you are experiencing are no joke. I will tell you that my doc has switched me to Progesterone in Oil injections if you are bleeding with suppositories (which aren't a lot of fun).

    I am so incredibly sorry about the comments you had to endure this weekend. I think people try to help, but they just have no clue how this process really works so they completely flub it up! Sometimes you can brush off the comments but when you are nursing an open wound, it's like pouring salt into it. I'm so sorry, hon! HUGS!!!!