Monday, June 4, 2012
My kids are cute!
Okay, I am not much of a bragger but I love these kids and I went through a lot to get them so here I am bragging. They are so freakin adorable! Every time they smile at me my heart melts. Plus, they are going through a rough patch the last 2 days where they have decided they don't want to sleep anymore, they just want to cry and eat. For that reason I need to focus on how cute they are. Otherwise hubby might pull up and find them on the front lawn after his 14 hour days.
Fynn and his Panda friend
Hudson and his Polar Bear friend. Ironically, the week after we had the boys they named the polar bear Hudson at our local zoo.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Keeping Track
Most of my friends and family have kept baby books for their children. My sister even made some seriously amazing scrapbooks of the first couple of years with her son and first daughter. I have done nothing so I am going to attempt to keep a record of some milestones and observations of my baby boys on my blog. I wish I could be more poetic while doing so but I am just not that skilled when it comes to writing.
Fynn
You are our little wild man. You just don't stop moving, ever. You kick your legs and flap your arms at all times. Originally daddy and I wanted you to sleep with us in our room but we couldn't get any sleep because you were way too loud. You grunt and groan and run miles in your sleep. Overall you are a happy baby but you definitely tell us when you aren't happy. You wake up from your sleep with a yelp and you have a hard time being patient while you wait for me to heat your bottle up. You absolutely chug your bottle down and daddy and I try to encourage you to slow down. Because of your vigorous style of eating you have the loudest burps I have ever heard a baby create. You literally sound like a 40 year old beer guzzling man. It makes me laugh every time and I know that you got that skill from your aunt. It amazes me that you never get sick. I am lucky between both you and your brother you have only thrown up about 3 times since you were born. You love to eat and seem to eat almost double what your brother takes in. It is no coincidence that you weigh more than your perviously bigger brother because you seem to rarely be without bootle. You are now eating about 7 ounces per feeding and you eat two at your "dinner time" feeding. As far as sleeping goes you are doing pretty well. You sleep shorter during the day and you often fight going to sleep but mommy is persistant. You use to like the swing to have a nap in during the day but now you prefer being rocked in mommy's arms. Mommy loves this but it can be hard when your brother also wants the same from mommy. Daddy thinks mommy is spoiling you guys but secretly does the same when he thinks mommy isn't looking. I hear lots of people say that their baby (ies) slept the entire night before 3 months but I am finding out quickly that everyone has a different idea of the entire night. You seem to sleep from about 8:00 Pm -1:30 am, then you have a quick bottle and are back to sleep within 20 mins, you wake up again around 6:00 am and again you fall back asleep until around 9 am. In my head that isn't sleeping through the night but I will take it. I seriously don't mind waking up with you and infact I look forward to our nightime interaction. You see, although you are still moving about in my arms, it is as relaxed and zen as I see you. Your motions are a bit slower and you look into my eyes the entire time I feed you. The feeling of those big blue eyes staring into mine is what I waited for all of those years. I love you with everything and I still cry when I am holding you in my arms because I can't believe I am so lucky to have a perfect, beautiful son like you.
Both you and your brother love the car and it makes it so nice for mommy because you can go down to Grandma and Grandpas every Sunday and Wednesday.
You my little man are the most vocal baby I have ever been around. You have a sound for everything and most of them are hilarious. You grunt and squeak at every possible moment. We are starting to get to know your noises but at times are confused about what they mean.
You are getting strong my dear boy and I am so proud of you. When you were first born you were a little peanut of a boy. At times I felt nervous holding you because you just felt so floppy in my arms and you were so wee. Now you are hearty and round and even have quite the little buddah belly on you.You hate tummy time but are starting to get used to it. Your control of your head is getting much better and you have been able to sit in the bumbo for a couple of weeks now and you even sat in the jolly jumper although you didn't quite know what to do. You still have that pesky blocked tear duct and mommy is frustrated because nothing seems to help. When you wake up in the morning your eye is literally glued together with gunk (eye boogers). It doesn't seem to bother you, you are a real trooper. You are also pretty patient when mommy tries to pick them out with a wet face cloth. You have the most beautiful blue eyes and mommy wants to see them clearly and doesn't want anything to stop you from seeing everything going on around you.
You are my Fynn, Fynny, Fynious, Delph-finny, Fynny boy, daddy and I love you so much.
Hudson
You are our sweet boy. You are calm almost all of the time and you seem to love life. You are content to sit and investigate the world with your little furrowed brow. You love to smile and bat your eyelashes. You melt every woman that holds you heart. You are patient and often wait until your brother is settled to get you much deserved attention. Daddy and I love playing with you and watching you take in the world around you. This week you have really discovered your hands and you spend a lot of time staring at them and their movements. You are really playing now and love to hit the toys on your play mat. You love to laugh even though no sounds come out.
You seem to be getting a hold of this sleep thing and are pretty easy to put down. You love cuddling with momma but you fall asleep relatively easily and you seem to have a pretty calm presence most of the time. Neither you or your brother sleep through the night but you are getting close. You have had some 6 and 7 hour sleeps and I know before long you will be sleeping the night away. When you wake up in the night for a feeding you seem to smile the entire time. You melt your dads heart and he can barely put you down to go back to sleep. Mommy has to remind him that you need your sleep or daddy would hang out with you all night long.
You seem to like tummy time and are really pushing your head up and it looks like you will be crawling in no time. You love pushing up on the breast feeding pillow and checking out your surrounding.
You my little friend have thinned out of the past couple of months. We used to call you our bruiser or the big guy but that no longer suits you. You are getting leaner and your face has really thinned out. We send your grandparents pictures and they say you change daily.
You also seem to love music and singing. Mommy sings to you all day long and you love it. You smile and move your mouth like you wish you could join in. You imitate the shapes mommy makes with her mouth and you and mommy even have your own singing games. Mommy has discovered that when she sticks out her tongue you will stick yours out too.
I love you my little Huddy Buddy, My Buddah Boy, my Bubbah Baby, my Buddah Buddy Boy!
Fynn
You are our little wild man. You just don't stop moving, ever. You kick your legs and flap your arms at all times. Originally daddy and I wanted you to sleep with us in our room but we couldn't get any sleep because you were way too loud. You grunt and groan and run miles in your sleep. Overall you are a happy baby but you definitely tell us when you aren't happy. You wake up from your sleep with a yelp and you have a hard time being patient while you wait for me to heat your bottle up. You absolutely chug your bottle down and daddy and I try to encourage you to slow down. Because of your vigorous style of eating you have the loudest burps I have ever heard a baby create. You literally sound like a 40 year old beer guzzling man. It makes me laugh every time and I know that you got that skill from your aunt. It amazes me that you never get sick. I am lucky between both you and your brother you have only thrown up about 3 times since you were born. You love to eat and seem to eat almost double what your brother takes in. It is no coincidence that you weigh more than your perviously bigger brother because you seem to rarely be without bootle. You are now eating about 7 ounces per feeding and you eat two at your "dinner time" feeding. As far as sleeping goes you are doing pretty well. You sleep shorter during the day and you often fight going to sleep but mommy is persistant. You use to like the swing to have a nap in during the day but now you prefer being rocked in mommy's arms. Mommy loves this but it can be hard when your brother also wants the same from mommy. Daddy thinks mommy is spoiling you guys but secretly does the same when he thinks mommy isn't looking. I hear lots of people say that their baby (ies) slept the entire night before 3 months but I am finding out quickly that everyone has a different idea of the entire night. You seem to sleep from about 8:00 Pm -1:30 am, then you have a quick bottle and are back to sleep within 20 mins, you wake up again around 6:00 am and again you fall back asleep until around 9 am. In my head that isn't sleeping through the night but I will take it. I seriously don't mind waking up with you and infact I look forward to our nightime interaction. You see, although you are still moving about in my arms, it is as relaxed and zen as I see you. Your motions are a bit slower and you look into my eyes the entire time I feed you. The feeling of those big blue eyes staring into mine is what I waited for all of those years. I love you with everything and I still cry when I am holding you in my arms because I can't believe I am so lucky to have a perfect, beautiful son like you.
Both you and your brother love the car and it makes it so nice for mommy because you can go down to Grandma and Grandpas every Sunday and Wednesday.
You my little man are the most vocal baby I have ever been around. You have a sound for everything and most of them are hilarious. You grunt and squeak at every possible moment. We are starting to get to know your noises but at times are confused about what they mean.
You are getting strong my dear boy and I am so proud of you. When you were first born you were a little peanut of a boy. At times I felt nervous holding you because you just felt so floppy in my arms and you were so wee. Now you are hearty and round and even have quite the little buddah belly on you.You hate tummy time but are starting to get used to it. Your control of your head is getting much better and you have been able to sit in the bumbo for a couple of weeks now and you even sat in the jolly jumper although you didn't quite know what to do. You still have that pesky blocked tear duct and mommy is frustrated because nothing seems to help. When you wake up in the morning your eye is literally glued together with gunk (eye boogers). It doesn't seem to bother you, you are a real trooper. You are also pretty patient when mommy tries to pick them out with a wet face cloth. You have the most beautiful blue eyes and mommy wants to see them clearly and doesn't want anything to stop you from seeing everything going on around you.
You are my Fynn, Fynny, Fynious, Delph-finny, Fynny boy, daddy and I love you so much.
Hudson
You are our sweet boy. You are calm almost all of the time and you seem to love life. You are content to sit and investigate the world with your little furrowed brow. You love to smile and bat your eyelashes. You melt every woman that holds you heart. You are patient and often wait until your brother is settled to get you much deserved attention. Daddy and I love playing with you and watching you take in the world around you. This week you have really discovered your hands and you spend a lot of time staring at them and their movements. You are really playing now and love to hit the toys on your play mat. You love to laugh even though no sounds come out.
You seem to be getting a hold of this sleep thing and are pretty easy to put down. You love cuddling with momma but you fall asleep relatively easily and you seem to have a pretty calm presence most of the time. Neither you or your brother sleep through the night but you are getting close. You have had some 6 and 7 hour sleeps and I know before long you will be sleeping the night away. When you wake up in the night for a feeding you seem to smile the entire time. You melt your dads heart and he can barely put you down to go back to sleep. Mommy has to remind him that you need your sleep or daddy would hang out with you all night long.
You seem to like tummy time and are really pushing your head up and it looks like you will be crawling in no time. You love pushing up on the breast feeding pillow and checking out your surrounding.
You my little friend have thinned out of the past couple of months. We used to call you our bruiser or the big guy but that no longer suits you. You are getting leaner and your face has really thinned out. We send your grandparents pictures and they say you change daily.
You also seem to love music and singing. Mommy sings to you all day long and you love it. You smile and move your mouth like you wish you could join in. You imitate the shapes mommy makes with her mouth and you and mommy even have your own singing games. Mommy has discovered that when she sticks out her tongue you will stick yours out too.
I love you my little Huddy Buddy, My Buddah Boy, my Bubbah Baby, my Buddah Buddy Boy!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Nursery
When I was pregnant I found it very uncomfortable. I felt very guilty because I had dreamed of being pregnant for so many years that it didn't feel right to complain. I wanted so badly to love it but it was a huge physical challenge for me. Anyways because of this I didn't post as much as I would have liked to have during my pregnancy. I was worried I would come across as whiny and ungrateful. So now I am trying to catch up on some of the events and feelings that I experienced through my pregnancy because I have had some time to reflect.
I never really went through the nesting phase in my pregnancy. I was so exhausted that I think I would have been okay with any nursery as long as I didn't have to do it. Don't get me wrong I wanted the best for my babies but I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs let alone travel to a paint store and hunt out items to decorate. Luckily hubby took over and with some input from me he did a great job decorating the boys room. His theme was transportation with the instructions that he wasn't allowed to use anything cartoon like.
So one day when I got home from work G surprised me by decorating the nursery. At first I was a bit shocked and even upset because I didn't even choose the paint colour (color for the Americans) but quickly it became such a big relief. I was so touched because hubby HATES to shop and decorating isn't really his thing. He even braved the dreaded baby store to purchase aquariums and a diaper genie. Things that he didn't know anything about until he went alone to the baby store. To be honest we have a very modest home with limited space. The babies nursery actually used to be our bedroom and hubby not only decorated the twins room but he also set up our new room in the basement. We decided to leave the other bedroom on our main floor for visitors and so he had to convert or basement into two separate living spaces. For a guy with little decorating skills he did an amazing job. I will post picture of our new room when I get a chance (G is sleeping down there now). Anyways, these are pictures from just two angels of the room ( I wish I had staightened things out a bit more). We took these to show our parents so don't even have the show items up (bumpers and bedding). By the way, why do people even buy bedding when we aren't allowed to use the bumpers or quilt for safety reasons. Anways, the babies are sleeping in their cribs so I can't take any pictures of the other two walls or the corner where the glider is. One day I will post a picture of their closet and you will be shocked by how much stuff they have. We are so lucky to have two very close friends that had baby boys 5 months ahead of us. They have passed on everything to us and we will be forever grateful.
I never really went through the nesting phase in my pregnancy. I was so exhausted that I think I would have been okay with any nursery as long as I didn't have to do it. Don't get me wrong I wanted the best for my babies but I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs let alone travel to a paint store and hunt out items to decorate. Luckily hubby took over and with some input from me he did a great job decorating the boys room. His theme was transportation with the instructions that he wasn't allowed to use anything cartoon like.
So one day when I got home from work G surprised me by decorating the nursery. At first I was a bit shocked and even upset because I didn't even choose the paint colour (color for the Americans) but quickly it became such a big relief. I was so touched because hubby HATES to shop and decorating isn't really his thing. He even braved the dreaded baby store to purchase aquariums and a diaper genie. Things that he didn't know anything about until he went alone to the baby store. To be honest we have a very modest home with limited space. The babies nursery actually used to be our bedroom and hubby not only decorated the twins room but he also set up our new room in the basement. We decided to leave the other bedroom on our main floor for visitors and so he had to convert or basement into two separate living spaces. For a guy with little decorating skills he did an amazing job. I will post picture of our new room when I get a chance (G is sleeping down there now). Anyways, these are pictures from just two angels of the room ( I wish I had staightened things out a bit more). We took these to show our parents so don't even have the show items up (bumpers and bedding). By the way, why do people even buy bedding when we aren't allowed to use the bumpers or quilt for safety reasons. Anways, the babies are sleeping in their cribs so I can't take any pictures of the other two walls or the corner where the glider is. One day I will post a picture of their closet and you will be shocked by how much stuff they have. We are so lucky to have two very close friends that had baby boys 5 months ahead of us. They have passed on everything to us and we will be forever grateful.
The elephant in the hospital room
So, I am a talker by nature. It is usually a form of nervous talk where I apologize for most things and tell people all of my personal information, whether they want to hear it or not. I am sure I shock people with my openess and it isn't alway necessary. Actually, I am from a family of talkers and none of us know when to stop and when to keep stuff to ourselves. I have always thought that because I am a tad bit insecure that I announce all of my perceived short comings just to get them out there. I just don't have a filter and the only way I feel accepted is to tell people everything. I am not good at putting up a facade and generally when I am uncomfortable, I don't like something, or I have an opinion, you are going to know it. Usually I have some tact while doing so but I just have to get it out.
So when we decided to do the egg donor thing with my sister needless to say I was very open about it. Hubby on the other hand had a more subtle need to know approach. I wish I could be more like him but it just isn't in my nature. So yes I told people about the egg donor process. Actually lots of people, okay most people. People at work, people in our personal life and even strangers. I am not sure why but I guess I felt I had to. Anyways throughout the process everyone I told was positive and always complimentary about my relationship with my sister and her genorisity. I would agree that she is an incredible person and that would be that. Sometimes I wondered if they pitied me or felt like my pregnancy was less than theirs but I was pregnant with two miracle babies so I didn't really give a shit what they thought. My sister had basically the same experience, although a few of her very closest friends told her ( maybe I should saywarned her) that it was going to be a huge process not to be taken lightly. Although on one hand my sister has always said it was a no brainer decision to step up and make my dreams of being a mother come true she isn't stupid enough to make the decision without thinking it through. Anyways, those were the only remotely "negative" comments either of us experienced. Until................the hospital. So like I said I am far too open about things that sometimes should be left personal . Anyways when we were in the hospital for the birth of our baby boys we experienced some shockingly offensive comments. Thank goodness that nothing could cheapen the miracle of their birth for me and I just didn't care about anyone elses input about our situation. Anyways, so after I had delivered my beautiful baby boys and they were admitted to the NICU for eating issues I was visited by an array of nurses. Most of whom were incredible. They were kind and attentive and asked me all the right questions about my boys. I was open about our struggle to conceive and even mentioned that incredible gift my sister had given to us. What I was not prepared for was the way one nurse decided to interpret the situation. On the day the boys were born my sister was literally waiting in the next room waiting to meet them after my c-section. We wanted her to be the first person other than us to see them (which in my opinon was perfect). So after I was sewn up and back in my room G decided to take my sister to the NICU to meet the babies. Before they left the nurse on duty came into my room and I introduced her to my sister. She immediately asked if she was "The Aunty Mommy". I thought to myself that I must be hullicinating and my jaw dropped to the ground. We were all shocked and individually decided not to address what she had said. A few minutes later G took my sister to meet the babies and as they were passing the nursing station the nurse said it again "enjoy meeting your babies, Aunty Mommy". At this point my sister turned to her and told her that she was mistaken and that in fact she was just the aunt and not the mother. She also made a joke that we had paid a lot of money in legal fees to make sure she wasn't the mommy. The other nurses overheard what she had said to us and told her it was completely inappropriate. She came and apologized and told us she thought it was a wonderful situation and she didn't mean to offend us. I was willing to get over it and told her it was fine. Then the next day when my sister's kids came to visit she did the unthinkable. She actually asked if they were there to meet their brothers. Not only did this confuse the kids but aI was disgusted. In the end chalked it up to ignorance and decided not to waste too much time and energy on it. . I guess people don't know what to say or how to act. I have decided that this might be the one situation that I shouldn't feel the need to tell everyone. I honestly think people can't handle it and don't know how to act or react.
So when we decided to do the egg donor thing with my sister needless to say I was very open about it. Hubby on the other hand had a more subtle need to know approach. I wish I could be more like him but it just isn't in my nature. So yes I told people about the egg donor process. Actually lots of people, okay most people. People at work, people in our personal life and even strangers. I am not sure why but I guess I felt I had to. Anyways throughout the process everyone I told was positive and always complimentary about my relationship with my sister and her genorisity. I would agree that she is an incredible person and that would be that. Sometimes I wondered if they pitied me or felt like my pregnancy was less than theirs but I was pregnant with two miracle babies so I didn't really give a shit what they thought. My sister had basically the same experience, although a few of her very closest friends told her ( maybe I should saywarned her) that it was going to be a huge process not to be taken lightly. Although on one hand my sister has always said it was a no brainer decision to step up and make my dreams of being a mother come true she isn't stupid enough to make the decision without thinking it through. Anyways, those were the only remotely "negative" comments either of us experienced. Until................the hospital. So like I said I am far too open about things that sometimes should be left personal . Anyways when we were in the hospital for the birth of our baby boys we experienced some shockingly offensive comments. Thank goodness that nothing could cheapen the miracle of their birth for me and I just didn't care about anyone elses input about our situation. Anyways, so after I had delivered my beautiful baby boys and they were admitted to the NICU for eating issues I was visited by an array of nurses. Most of whom were incredible. They were kind and attentive and asked me all the right questions about my boys. I was open about our struggle to conceive and even mentioned that incredible gift my sister had given to us. What I was not prepared for was the way one nurse decided to interpret the situation. On the day the boys were born my sister was literally waiting in the next room waiting to meet them after my c-section. We wanted her to be the first person other than us to see them (which in my opinon was perfect). So after I was sewn up and back in my room G decided to take my sister to the NICU to meet the babies. Before they left the nurse on duty came into my room and I introduced her to my sister. She immediately asked if she was "The Aunty Mommy". I thought to myself that I must be hullicinating and my jaw dropped to the ground. We were all shocked and individually decided not to address what she had said. A few minutes later G took my sister to meet the babies and as they were passing the nursing station the nurse said it again "enjoy meeting your babies, Aunty Mommy". At this point my sister turned to her and told her that she was mistaken and that in fact she was just the aunt and not the mother. She also made a joke that we had paid a lot of money in legal fees to make sure she wasn't the mommy. The other nurses overheard what she had said to us and told her it was completely inappropriate. She came and apologized and told us she thought it was a wonderful situation and she didn't mean to offend us. I was willing to get over it and told her it was fine. Then the next day when my sister's kids came to visit she did the unthinkable. She actually asked if they were there to meet their brothers. Not only did this confuse the kids but aI was disgusted. In the end chalked it up to ignorance and decided not to waste too much time and energy on it. . I guess people don't know what to say or how to act. I have decided that this might be the one situation that I shouldn't feel the need to tell everyone. I honestly think people can't handle it and don't know how to act or react.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Slow Down!!!
Please someone slow the clocks down. Things are still moving way too fast!!! I love these boys and want to enjoy every minute. Okay, life isn't perfect, we don't sleep, and Hubby is working like crazy but I wouldn't change anything for the world. We were meant to be a family and it was worth everything. The only negative thoughts I have is that I will never have a baby again. I know I am being greedy and the reality is another child would be too expensive and a ton of work but who lives in reality.....haha. Seriously, I am just happy with these miracles and so happy that we got to have twins.
Fynn has surpassed his younger formerly bigger brother in weight. On Friday we had our three month appointment and Fynn weighed 11.7 pounds and Hudson is 11.4. They aren't sleeping through the night but we have had a couple of 6 hour stretches. Luckily they feed quickly at night and go right back to bed. For the most part they are super happy babies but we do have what we refer to as "THE WITCHING HOUR". It actually lasts closer to 2 hours and consists of the boys being fussy and having a hard time knowing what they want. We try feeding them, changing them, rocking them and none of the tricks work. It's not that they are screaming or crying the entire time but they just aren't happy boys. Eventually they just tire themselves out but it sure keeps us on our toes. I wish I knew the trick to settle them during this time but I am sure it will work itself out.
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Fynn has surpassed his younger formerly bigger brother in weight. On Friday we had our three month appointment and Fynn weighed 11.7 pounds and Hudson is 11.4. They aren't sleeping through the night but we have had a couple of 6 hour stretches. Luckily they feed quickly at night and go right back to bed. For the most part they are super happy babies but we do have what we refer to as "THE WITCHING HOUR". It actually lasts closer to 2 hours and consists of the boys being fussy and having a hard time knowing what they want. We try feeding them, changing them, rocking them and none of the tricks work. It's not that they are screaming or crying the entire time but they just aren't happy boys. Eventually they just tire themselves out but it sure keeps us on our toes. I wish I knew the trick to settle them during this time but I am sure it will work itself out.
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Sunday, May 13, 2012
Crying
Today is Mother`s Day and I am crying this year again but for very different reasons . The tears won`t stop and I am sure Hudson and Fynn are looking at me like I am a crazy person. Like any infertile, Mother`s Day was always a hard one for me but you would expect that this Mother`s Day I would be all smiles. Trust me the tears are of pure joy and gratitude. I am the luckiest Mother in the world!!!! I feel so overwhelmed with happiness that I just can`t stop the tears from pouring out. I am thinking of everyone of you still in the trenches and wishing and hoping for your babies to come soon! I believe there is a baby for everyone so I hope the road that leads you to your baby appears for you all soon. Sorry to be so sappy but I am emotional.
Happy Mother`s Day to everyone; Practicing Mothers, Mothers to be, hopeful Mothers, and Mother`s to children they have lost.
but most of all HAPPY MOTHER`S DAY TO MY SISTER, thanks for helping make me become a mother.
Happy Mother`s Day to everyone; Practicing Mothers, Mothers to be, hopeful Mothers, and Mother`s to children they have lost.
but most of all HAPPY MOTHER`S DAY TO MY SISTER, thanks for helping make me become a mother.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Growing!
The Boys are growing way too fast. I am loving every second with them and wishing I could press pause. I want to enjoy every diaper, tear and smile. I love being a mom and it makes all of those difficult years worth it. Thank god for my sister, science and an open minded husband. I feel so lucky to be me right now. I hope everyone else out there gets there BFP soon, you all deserve this. 
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