So, I am a talker by nature. It is usually a form of nervous talk where I apologize for most things and tell people all of my personal information, whether they want to hear it or not. I am sure I shock people with my openess and it isn't alway necessary. Actually, I am from a family of talkers and none of us know when to stop and when to keep stuff to ourselves. I have always thought that because I am a tad bit insecure that I announce all of my perceived short comings just to get them out there. I just don't have a filter and the only way I feel accepted is to tell people everything. I am not good at putting up a facade and generally when I am uncomfortable, I don't like something, or I have an opinion, you are going to know it. Usually I have some tact while doing so but I just have to get it out.
So when we decided to do the egg donor thing with my sister needless to say I was very open about it. Hubby on the other hand had a more subtle need to know approach. I wish I could be more like him but it just isn't in my nature. So yes I told people about the egg donor process. Actually lots of people, okay most people. People at work, people in our personal life and even strangers. I am not sure why but I guess I felt I had to. Anyways throughout the process everyone I told was positive and always complimentary about my relationship with my sister and her genorisity. I would agree that she is an incredible person and that would be that. Sometimes I wondered if they pitied me or felt like my pregnancy was less than theirs but I was pregnant with two miracle babies so I didn't really give a shit what they thought. My sister had basically the same experience, although a few of her very closest friends told her ( maybe I should saywarned her) that it was going to be a huge process not to be taken lightly. Although on one hand my sister has always said it was a no brainer decision to step up and make my dreams of being a mother come true she isn't stupid enough to make the decision without thinking it through. Anyways, those were the only remotely "negative" comments either of us experienced. Until................the hospital. So like I said I am far too open about things that sometimes should be left personal . Anyways when we were in the hospital for the birth of our baby boys we experienced some shockingly offensive comments. Thank goodness that nothing could cheapen the miracle of their birth for me and I just didn't care about anyone elses input about our situation. Anyways, so after I had delivered my beautiful baby boys and they were admitted to the NICU for eating issues I was visited by an array of nurses. Most of whom were incredible. They were kind and attentive and asked me all the right questions about my boys. I was open about our struggle to conceive and even mentioned that incredible gift my sister had given to us. What I was not prepared for was the way one nurse decided to interpret the situation. On the day the boys were born my sister was literally waiting in the next room waiting to meet them after my c-section. We wanted her to be the first person other than us to see them (which in my opinon was perfect). So after I was sewn up and back in my room G decided to take my sister to the NICU to meet the babies. Before they left the nurse on duty came into my room and I introduced her to my sister. She immediately asked if she was "The Aunty Mommy". I thought to myself that I must be hullicinating and my jaw dropped to the ground. We were all shocked and individually decided not to address what she had said. A few minutes later G took my sister to meet the babies and as they were passing the nursing station the nurse said it again "enjoy meeting your babies, Aunty Mommy". At this point my sister turned to her and told her that she was mistaken and that in fact she was just the aunt and not the mother. She also made a joke that we had paid a lot of money in legal fees to make sure she wasn't the mommy. The other nurses overheard what she had said to us and told her it was completely inappropriate. She came and apologized and told us she thought it was a wonderful situation and she didn't mean to offend us. I was willing to get over it and told her it was fine. Then the next day when my sister's kids came to visit she did the unthinkable. She actually asked if they were there to meet their brothers. Not only did this confuse the kids but aI was disgusted. In the end chalked it up to ignorance and decided not to waste too much time and energy on it. . I guess people don't know what to say or how to act. I have decided that this might be the one situation that I shouldn't feel the need to tell everyone. I honestly think people can't handle it and don't know how to act or react.