Happy Halloween!

 

 

Men are Born Selfish?

So let me preface this with the fact that I have a great husband.  He is funny, like really funny, and fun to be around in general.  He is also a good father who supported me through all of this infertility stuff and never once made me feel guilty for the money we spent or the hoops we had to jump through. 
Now that that's out of the way let me get to the point.  I believe men are born or maybe socialized to be selfish.  Yep, all men.  I am not saying it is always a bad thing but I think it is a thing.  Maybe it is instictual or primal and they can't help it but I guess us women are just more evolved....lol.
Case and point. I can spend the entire day with my boys (6am-5pm) and literally not pee.  Not because I don`t have to pee but I just don`t prioritize it.  Instead I wash out bottles, tidy up toys, run the laundry and the list goes on.  I know what you`re thinking, I am a saint, and yes it is true. Yet, the moment my husband gets home he changes out of his work clothing and adjourns himself to his throne.  That`s right, here I am still in my pajamas, hair not brushed, teeth not cleaned and he heads to the bathroom.  Don`t get me wrong he isn`t heartless, he does blow air kisses to the boys as he passes.  Next he complains about how hungry he is.  It must be noted that he works at a Golf Club with a 4 star chef and he gets free food.  I, on the other hand, generally have toast for breakfast, some sort of microwavable lunch that I don't have time to eat and maybe a bite of a granola bar. It isn`t that I can't eat or shower, it is just that I always have something else to do during the waking hours, that seems more productive (facebook....lol).  In my opinion the boys go down before 6 pm and generally do not wake up until 6 am so I can eat, pee, and do personal stuff then.  However, maybe his way of doing things isnt the worst idea, I just could not do it myself but maybe there should be a more even meeting of the needs.  I would say that as soon as the boys were born their needs, no matter how small or important, have always come first.
Then again he does a lot of things that are considerate, like going to Dairy Queen. Actually come to think of it I didn't even like DQ before we met.  Plus it isn't like he is coming home with nothing for himself.  I guess a better example would be the fact that when the boys were little he always did the 3 am feed (this was huge because it allowed me to sleep from 12am-6am) and now he does the morning feedings. He also does the majority (like 95%) of the cooking, doesn't mind vacuuming and mopping the floors and gives a mean nightly back massage.
Maybe what I see as selfishness is actually more well balanced and one day I will burn out and he will continue on the way he is going and be just fine.
Maybe this male selfishness is also why he also never ever puts the toilet paper on the roll, oh wait that is just because he is lazy.....lol.

Bored?

I hate to say this but Maternity leave is a bit boring. Okay, it isn't that I am saying I have a ton of free time on my hands because they boys are full on but I mean my mind isn't really being stimulated.  I am a true believer of "if you don't use it you loose it" and I am loosing it. I am not going out of my way to think of creative ways to fill the day so I am getting in a bit of a rut.  I am 100% grateful to have the time off with my boys and I truly love being with them it is just that I don't feel like I do enough.  I am not really interested in going to the mall because the boys are too active and I feel like it isn't fair to keep them strapped in their seats for long periods of time. I can't really get them out at the mall because I can't hold them both at the same time so it seems pointless. It takes me about 30 minutes to get us packed up to go and the boys are usually on different nap schedules so unless the outing is worth it I would rather just go for a walk.  Now that they are eating real food it isn't like we can just take a bottle and go. Plus my boys nap in their cribs so we are kind of tied to the house.  We go for a lot of walks while the weather is still good but I would like to do something different. I could go to the zoo or other places that cost money but again the boys would be in the stroller and I am not sure how much they would get out of it. I guess what I need is a group of mom friends in the neighbourhood to hang out with.  I did join a mommy group and met a few girls but they are in a totally different position than me.  They only have one baby and their kids are a couple of months younger.  It isn't that big a deal but they can do a lot that I can't. They generally opt to spend the afternoon at the mall (like 4 hours at a time) because their babies sleep most of the time. They also go swimming (I can't do it with two babies) and do baby yoga (sounds like heaven). I guess I will have to pursue my local POMBA again because I need to meet mom's of multiples.

Top ten reasons my husband shouldn't do laundry

1. He doesn't sort (he keeps all colours together, whites and blacks included)
2. He never remembers to put the wash into the dryer (he rewashes everything at least 2 times...ugh). Some of our towels smell like mildew
3. He puts towels with clothing
4. He doesn't fold
5. He waits until he has at least 5 loads
6. Everytime I go to use the dryer there is a load in there. Either half dry or needing to be folded
7. He puts everything in the dryer (wool and suede included)
8. He acts like he should get a hero biscuit for even attempting it
9. He uses the last of the detergent and never lets me know
10. He throws it on the floor in the bedroom  instead of putting it away

8 months (a little late)

Well my little dudes are no longer my little babies any more.  It feels like they have really turned a corner this month. As I have mentioned in previous posts they are mobile and it is an entirely new world. The pace of life has become so fast it is hard to keep up.  They are so much fun but also so much work (the best job in the world). They are the loves of my life and I love watching them grow and learn new skills.

Hudson
Your personality sure is emerging. No longer do you smile all day long and take the passive role.  You are now a little man in motion and you are giving your brother a run for his money in more ways than one. You are still full of smiles but you also let us know when you are frustrated or if you need some extra attention.  You are constantly on the move and you have even invented your own little move we call the "side saddle". It is a mix between a sitting and crawling position where you balance on one side. It is your signature move, and it is hilarious. You learned to crawl last month and you get faster by the day. You also love to pull yourself up onto your knees, thank goodness you are becoming a little more careful because at first you kept bumping your head and mommy was a nervous wreck.
You are a good little eater and you seem to like most foods (everything but peaches so far). Fruit and vegetables seem to be your favourite and although you eat meat at least once a day the texture isn't your favourite. You also love eating cheerios (although daddy calls them chokeous) and your technique is hilarious. You take your index finger, balance the cheerio on the tip of your finger and then place each one on your tongue individually.
You still love your Jolly Jumper and it feels like you are going to catapult into space when you are jumping. You laugh so hard it cracks us all up.  You and your brother love to bounce together and it is the cutest thing ever.
You boys have really discovered each other this month and you love "talking" and interacting with each other. You follow each other around crawling everywhere. You also crawl over each other  instead of going around one another. It looks very uncomfortable but it doesn't seem to bother either of you.
You are much more vocal this month and your noises are hilarious and at times ear piercing. You yelp and screech with happiness and our house sounds a bit like a three ring circus. Your noises aren't really word like but hopefully that will come soon.
We have had a bunch of sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's house this month and you have done so well. You guys love to hang out there and I think they love having you.
You are still a good sleeper but unlike previous months you occassionally wake up in the middle of the night. Daddy and I got into a bad habit of giving you a bottle and then suddenly you came to expect them. We decided that this wasn't a great idea so we went back to our original "sleep training" (I hate that term!) and we hope you are back to consistently sleeping through the night again soon. You are still having 3 naps a day although I think you are ready to go down to 2. I acually like that I can go out in the afternoon for a couple of hours with you so I haven't worked on consolidating your afternoon naps. You guys are so easy to put down at nap time it just hasn't seemed to be very important. You are still going to sleep around 5:30pm and waking up for the day between 5:30-6:00 am (with the occasional bottle in the night).
You have two bottom teeth now and they are so darn cute. They are coming in at different times so they are a little uneven and so adorable. You also have more hair this month and I can't wait until I can style it.  One day I put some of daddy's "product" in it and you looked like daddy's mini me.
You have had a couple of melt downs this month and they came to us as a big surprise. We got so used to you being our happy little guy that when you became so upset it was a real shock. For a couple of days in a row you decided you hated the bath and had a total melt down. You also decided that you hated your high chair.  We decided that maybe you were overtired by the time you got to dinner and bathtime so we moved everything up a half an hour and that seemed to do the trick.  Now you are back on track.
Grandpa has been calling you "The Goose" because he says you eat everything and anything and that it goes right through your system (if you know what I mean). I literally change 4 diapers from the time you wake up until you go down for your first nap.
Life is very busy but we are enjoying every moment with you!

Fynn
You have also had a very busy month. You learned to crawl just after your 7 month birthday and you haven't stopped since you first took off. Mommy was a bit surprised that you learned so early because your adjust age would have been less than 6 months old. Hopefully that doesn't mean you will walk early. You are pulling up on EVERYTHING, mostly to your knees but a couple of times you have been able to get up on your feet (lord help me).  You are so quick that mommy can't take her eyes off of you for a second. You make a break for the front door, hanging cords, and anything remotely dangerous whenever you can. You are still my wild little man and you keep me on my toes.
I am happy to say that you no longer whine (well, no more than any other baby). You smile all of the time (with the exception of when you are around strangers). Daddy and I always notice that you can smile all day long with us at home and as soon as we go out you become very serious. It's funny because you are our silly guy but everyone assumes that would be your brother because he loves all people.
You love to eat and you can gobble down so many cheerios it is amazing. You love rice crackers too but those are the two only solid foods (that aren't pureed) that you can swollow. I have given you chunks of avacado and banana but you aren't too sure about the texture. You eat three "meals" a day and you haven't disliked anything we have given you. You can go through 3 baby bullet servings in one sitting (with various cereals mixed in).
You and your brother seem to be on similar sleep schedules (well the amount of sleep not necessarily the time that you sleep). You are easy to put down and you have slept through the night quite a bit this month (previous months you seemed to always get up for a night bottle). It is a mystery because you ALWAYS sleep through the night at grandma and grandpa's house (I am not sure why). Daddy and I talked about putting you down in the pack'n'play here at home because we wondered if you preferred it to your crib.
You also have new sounds this month and my least favourite is an ear piercing shriek that you have begun to make. It sounds like you might be in pain but it is generally followed by a smile so we know you are just playing around with your voice.
You now have 4 teeth, 2 on the bottom and 2 almost in on the top. They make you look so much different, like a little boy instead of a baby. Your gums look red but they haven't really changed your personality. You are rough and tumble and you have bumped your lip more than a couple of times on the floor this month. You cry for a second and then you are back to your crazy ways!

My boys, what a great month! I have been more tired this month than ever before but it is so worth it. I feel so fortunate to have you everyday and I never forget how lucky I am. I have been looking for some more things to do with you and would love to hear suggestions from any moms. I would love some suggestions of activities I can do at home and some programs that other twin mom's attended.

Busy????

What a month! I used to cringe when people (strangers) said "twins, you must be so busy". I hated that it was the first thing people always said to me and I would think to myself, "not really because I am on top of things". Now I want to eat my words! This twin thing is a lot of work and I now know it is just the beginning. People foolishly told me that the first 3 months are the hardest. To be honest I loved every second and I was on autopilot. Yes we were sleep deprived but we had a schedule, we were disciplined and most of all we were so happy to be parents. I mean like deliriously happy, we were content just staring at the boys and we couldn't get over the fact that they were ours. The next months flew by so quickly and things were very smooth. Yes Fynn  liked to fuss but he is a baby and that is to be expected. They slept when they were "supposed" to and things just seemed to fall into place. People would often stop me when I was out by myself (with the boys) and tell me how brave they thought I was. They also commented on the fact that I didn't look tired, well I wasn't I was getting my regular 8 hours of sleep a night so why would I be. Even my mother (who is amazing but not one to tell you when you are doing a good job) said she was amazed at how I handled things. Well the other shoe has dropped this month. That's right it is no longer "easy", I have lost my stride and am literally exhausted by the end of the day. Tonight for example I still have my boots on and I can't even imagine wasting the energy to bend over and take them off, I might even sleep in them. You see this month the boys are officially mobile. I mean they move, and they move quickly.  We have a little house and this isn't helping the situation at all. Not only do they crawl but they both pull up on everything in sight (both to their knees and Fynn occassionally to his feet). What the heck am I going to do when they can walk, I am sooooooo screwed

This made me laugh!

Check out this blog (http://strikingmom.blogspot.ca/2012/10/october-2nd-2012-striking-mother-log.html?m=0) of a mom who went on strike, hilarious. She is going to be on the Katie show today.....lol

Support Needed

One of our blogging sisters needs your support.  She is 23 weeks pregnant with twins and just found out one of her precious babies has a very rare congenital heart defect called Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome with mitral and aortic stenosis (HLHS). Without intensive, ongoing medical intervention he will not live. With intensive, ongoing medical intervention he might live.  She was finally feeling relaxed in her pregnancy and now the rug has been pulled from beneath her. Her head is spinning and she needs everyone to rally around her.  Please reach out to her and show your support, every little positive comment makes a difference  http://infertileinafertileland.blogspot.ca/2012/10/in-heartbeat-everything-changes.html

Ungrateful?????

Okay, so I should start off by saying that my husband is a great dad and prioritizes our family.  However he isn't perfect, okay neither am I, but we are talking about him. The truth is, I do things the right way and he needs to follow my lead at all times (that's reasonable right.....lol). Okay I am kidding a bit, but not really.  I spend the majority of time with the boys (he works 6 days a week for a minimum of 10 hours per day). Therefore I have established "the routine" and generally am responsible for the day to day running of the household (kids included). Due to the amount of time hubby is away from home, on the rare occasion that he is home early from work early he generally offers to take over bedtime (Hallelujah for that). This is when I usually head to the grocery store and get errands done, not glamorous but a break all the same. I do my best not to leave too many instructions but it's hard.  I guess it would be better to just let him have daddy time and be happy to have a competent spouse who is willing to step up. Well, sometimes competent isn't good enough. 
So this is my vent session on how my husband rebels and refuses to follow my direct orders....lol. I am laughing but it is very frustrating.
The following are my grievances in no particular order:
1. He feeds them in their bouncy chairs instead of their high chairs
2. He refuses to brush their teeth and gums because he says it isn't necessary because they only have a few teeth
3. He fed them strawberries even though I asked him not to (I know that generally people think they are safe but I am a worrier)
4. He doesn't ever get on the floor and play with them. He picks them up plenty of the time and has them on his lap or sitting next to him but he never gets down and plays with them.
5. He doesn't give them a bottle before bed because he says they shouldn't need it because they have just recently eaten. Needless to say the nights he put them down I have to go in an hour later and give them each a bottle. He acts surprised every time, so annoying!
6. He won't mix fruit or vegetables with any cereals because he says it looks disgusting.
7. He used to question my sleep schedule (he used to question if the boys needed to have a specific bedtime when he wanted to participate in social outings) until I let him take the wait and see approach and they had an epic meltdown.
8. He doesn't feed them anything messy (Cheerios/Mum crackers)
9. He throws the laundry on the nursery floor even though the hamper is 4 steps away from the change table.
10. He refuses to let me use a soother lanyard (not sure what they are called) to clip Fynn's soother to him. Therefore I am always reaching under the crib and searching the house for soothers.
11. If Fynn wakes up at night (he hasn't lately but had to document this one) he feeds him but never changes his diaper.  That means by morning time his diaper is about a million pounds. He says changing his diaper will stimulate him way too much, although when I do it he goes right back to sleep.
12. ****this will not generate sympathy but still aggravates me so why not mention it********
When he wakes up with the boys in the morning (he gets up at 6:00 am and lets me sleep until 6:30 when he has to get ready for work) he doesn't have time to change their diapers and they he barely feeds them any of their bottles. Plus he has them in their bouncy chairs watching cartoons (I try to avoid having the t.v on). ***side note he makes time to stop at Tim Hortons and get a offee and breakfast sandwich on the way to work**

Okay, now that I have made him look like a terrible father, my job is done......lol. I know I am not perfect and I would hate for him to analyze my skills and choices. However, I am a woman so I get to complain.
I feel much better now!