So let me preface this with the fact that I have a great husband. He is funny, like really funny, and fun to be around in general. He is also a good father who supported me through all of this infertility stuff and never once made me feel guilty for the money we spent or the hoops we had to jump through.
Now that that's out of the way let me get to the point. I believe men are born or maybe socialized to be selfish. Yep, all men. I am not saying it is always a bad thing but I think it is a thing. Maybe it is instictual or primal and they can't help it but I guess us women are just more evolved....lol.
Case and point. I can spend the entire day with my boys (6am-5pm) and literally not pee. Not because I don`t have to pee but I just don`t prioritize it. Instead I wash out bottles, tidy up toys, run the laundry and the list goes on. I know what you`re thinking, I am a saint, and yes it is true. Yet, the moment my husband gets home he changes out of his work clothing and adjourns himself to his throne. That`s right, here I am still in my pajamas, hair not brushed, teeth not cleaned and he heads to the bathroom. Don`t get me wrong he isn`t heartless, he does blow air kisses to the boys as he passes. Next he complains about how hungry he is. It must be noted that he works at a Golf Club with a 4 star chef and he gets free food. I, on the other hand, generally have toast for breakfast, some sort of microwavable lunch that I don't have time to eat and maybe a bite of a granola bar. It isn`t that I can't eat or shower, it is just that I always have something else to do during the waking hours, that seems more productive (facebook....lol). In my opinion the boys go down before 6 pm and generally do not wake up until 6 am so I can eat, pee, and do personal stuff then. However, maybe his way of doing things isnt the worst idea, I just could not do it myself but maybe there should be a more even meeting of the needs. I would say that as soon as the boys were born their needs, no matter how small or important, have always come first.
Then again he does a lot of things that are considerate, like going to Dairy Queen. Actually come to think of it I didn't even like DQ before we met. Plus it isn't like he is coming home with nothing for himself. I guess a better example would be the fact that when the boys were little he always did the 3 am feed (this was huge because it allowed me to sleep from 12am-6am) and now he does the morning feedings. He also does the majority (like 95%) of the cooking, doesn't mind vacuuming and mopping the floors and gives a mean nightly back massage.
Maybe what I see as selfishness is actually more well balanced and one day I will burn out and he will continue on the way he is going and be just fine.
Maybe this male selfishness is also why he also never ever puts the toilet paper on the roll, oh wait that is just because he is lazy.....lol.