Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Okay, so I should start off by saying that my husband is a great dad and prioritizes our family.  However he isn't perfect, okay neither am I, but we are talking about him. The truth is, I do things the right way and he needs to follow my lead at all times (that's reasonable Okay I am kidding a bit, but not really.  I spend the majority of time with the boys (he works 6 days a week for a minimum of 10 hours per day). Therefore I have established "the routine" and generally am responsible for the day to day running of the household (kids included). Due to the amount of time hubby is away from home, on the rare occasion that he is home early from work early he generally offers to take over bedtime (Hallelujah for that). This is when I usually head to the grocery store and get errands done, not glamorous but a break all the same. I do my best not to leave too many instructions but it's hard.  I guess it would be better to just let him have daddy time and be happy to have a competent spouse who is willing to step up. Well, sometimes competent isn't good enough. 
So this is my vent session on how my husband rebels and refuses to follow my direct I am laughing but it is very frustrating.
The following are my grievances in no particular order:
1. He feeds them in their bouncy chairs instead of their high chairs
2. He refuses to brush their teeth and gums because he says it isn't necessary because they only have a few teeth
3. He fed them strawberries even though I asked him not to (I know that generally people think they are safe but I am a worrier)
4. He doesn't ever get on the floor and play with them. He picks them up plenty of the time and has them on his lap or sitting next to him but he never gets down and plays with them.
5. He doesn't give them a bottle before bed because he says they shouldn't need it because they have just recently eaten. Needless to say the nights he put them down I have to go in an hour later and give them each a bottle. He acts surprised every time, so annoying!
6. He won't mix fruit or vegetables with any cereals because he says it looks disgusting.
7. He used to question my sleep schedule (he used to question if the boys needed to have a specific bedtime when he wanted to participate in social outings) until I let him take the wait and see approach and they had an epic meltdown.
8. He doesn't feed them anything messy (Cheerios/Mum crackers)
9. He throws the laundry on the nursery floor even though the hamper is 4 steps away from the change table.
10. He refuses to let me use a soother lanyard (not sure what they are called) to clip Fynn's soother to him. Therefore I am always reaching under the crib and searching the house for soothers.
11. If Fynn wakes up at night (he hasn't lately but had to document this one) he feeds him but never changes his diaper.  That means by morning time his diaper is about a million pounds. He says changing his diaper will stimulate him way too much, although when I do it he goes right back to sleep.
12. ****this will not generate sympathy but still aggravates me so why not mention it********
When he wakes up with the boys in the morning (he gets up at 6:00 am and lets me sleep until 6:30 when he has to get ready for work) he doesn't have time to change their diapers and they he barely feeds them any of their bottles. Plus he has them in their bouncy chairs watching cartoons (I try to avoid having the t.v on). ***side note he makes time to stop at Tim Hortons and get a offee and breakfast sandwich on the way to work**

Okay, now that I have made him look like a terrible father, my job is I know I am not perfect and I would hate for him to analyze my skills and choices. However, I am a woman so I get to complain.
I feel much better now!


  1. It is very frustrating when it feels like your partner is undermining you or using an entirely different playbook. I have my moments of frustration too. Try to talk to him about everything, calmly, and go from there maybe? Either way, I'm sure it felt good to get all that out there.

    1. I am actually not that mad, I just felt like I should vent so it doesn't build He does a lot for me and the boys but I have to remember he is a man and he wants to do it his way.
      Thanks for the comment, I am glad I'm not alone.

  2. My first thought when I saw this title was "uh oh" lol
    I so feel your frustrations! Not your whole list but a few of them and in general. I don't even know what else to say without doing my own bash fest ... I'm still struggling to find the balance of letting him do his own thing without it interfering with what I've already established.
    And yup gonna leave it at that...
    Glad your rant made you feel better! :)

    1. Lol, probably better to leave it alone. I feel guilty now because hubby is making dinner and just put a load of laundry

  3. Ugg I am sorry you are frustrated. It is definitely hard when husbands don't just do as they are told!! I hope it felt good to get things out though and hope he starts listening soon.

    1. Yeah, what are they thinking having their own brain and

  4. I have nothing really to say except that it seems pretty much what my spouse would do too if we had children.

  5. lol....I totally understand why you would be frustrated! Some of those directly link to your sleep which is KEY to happiness! :D :D

  6. yikes! That's a list! :-) I know you have a list of a lot of the good things he does too. But, jeez, frustrating! Although I like the approach of letting him reap the consequences (e.g. with the bedtime issue). I wonder if there's a way to let him experience the consequences of some of the other things? I'm thinking let him go in and feed the boys after he doesn't give them a bottle before bed? or let him wade through the dirty laundry on the floor? Of course, letting him take the kids to the oral surgeon when their teeth have rotted at age 4 or 5 might not be an option........ Take care and let us know if he proves to be at all trainable! :-)

  7. Lol, I love the trainable comment and no he isn't. I still vividly remember when the NICU nurse showed him how to give the boys a bath and then critiqued his technique, I loved every second of it. I think he wanted to tell her where to go but knew it would be grossly inappropriate. I love him but he is difficult. Thank god he does all of the late night and early morning feedings, cooks me dinner, knows his way around a vacuum and mop and never complains about anything I do (as far as house work)

  8. Yep! Sounds like many of the things my husband does! I'm on bed rest this weekend due to a FET, and it's already killing me, listening to him take care of her!

  9. OH MY GOODNESS. This could have been written by me. My husband and I both work fulltime, yet he has NEVER gotten up in the night with our now-3 year old or our 16 month old twins. Ever. And yes, the same thing... always it holding the kiddos, but not on the floor really playing. And he always has the tv on and often kind of "zones out" and forgets to pay attention. Never anything messy. Gets annoyed when I let them feed themselves... and then I do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and everything.

    Seriously, sounds like us. I have no help or suggestions. This is still a huge source of frustration for us because no matter how you slice it I do 99% of everything with the kids and any time he does actually do something that I feel like he "should" be doing (actually starting the dishwasher or grabbing a drink for a kiddos) he acts like he just did the biggest thing in the world and deserves a reward (and a break).


  10. Oh man! I SO had a post similar to this one (not as detailed... Lol) I get it! I was told by one very wise woman that it takes men a GOOD year to fully get a handle on the father role. Plus with twins he got a Double whammy! Now, my hubby gets down and dirty with the boys! I think when I wrote my post, my boys were about the same age! Just keep giving him complements when he does things right! Encourage him and provide opportunities for him to play on the floor... I'm sure you do! :)

  11. I'm so sorry, but #6 made me laugh out loud!!! The bottom line is, he's a great father in general. All of these little things will fade, but the important things will definitely stick with your family. The clothes on the floor would drive me nuts though!!!