Babycenter can suck it!

I am not sure about anyone else but the babycentre updates that they email me stress me out. I stopped reading them for a long time because my boys never seemed to meet half of the milestones.They were crawling by 7 months, walking by 12 but as far as the other milestones go, we just never made the cut. Even though I know twins, boys specifically, are usually a bit behind and they were premature it still bothered me.  I know my boys are who they are and as long as I am doing my best with them that should be good enough but I still worry. Like everyone says we all develop when we are ready and every child is different I just want them to be "normal".  Whatever the heck that means!  I wouldn't change them for the world so my worries are pretty counterproductive, but they are in my head just the same. Anyways, yesterday I went ahead and read the most recent email. Well now I am totally stressed out. My boys are supposed to be sorting shapes and colours, NOT EVEN CLOSE. They do go around making piles and moving them from place to place but they just gather all of the cars or all of the boxes (still sorting in my opinion).  They should be colouring, using a spoon and drinking from a cup. Okay we have been working on this but it certainly isn't like they do these things unassisted.  By the way who gives their 16 month old a cup with no lid without seriously close supervision? Hudson is actually really good at drinking and I can sit next to him and let him drink while I watch him closely (I actually try to hold the cup for him but he refuses). The problem is he gets distracted and if I wasn't there to stop him he would just tip it over.  It's not the end of the world but I would prefer not to have to clean up water 5 times a day. When they colour their biggest focus is on how to eat the crayon, so I let them scribble for a second and then usually end up taking the crayon away when they start gnawing at it. They are definitely behind on the spoon thing again they just want to chew on it. They can scoop some yogurt on a spoon but end up putting the wrong end of the spoon in the yogurt and don't really notice how little they are getting and what a mess they are making. I guess it is all part of the process though. Let's not even talk about speech. Hudson literally only says 3-5 words in a day. They are suggesting that the boys should be putting two words together and should have around 20 words and should be repeating what I say. I know it isn't because I don't talk enough because I never shut up, I guess they just aren't ready. I feel like I am constantly narrorating our every move, including bowel movements (mine and theirs). I know it will all come in time, but like every mom I just want everything to be okay and to happen when it is "supposed" to.
Just for my own record here are the words they say (half of them I probably shouldn't even be counting)
Fynn: 1. ball (sounds like ba) , 2.dada (I don't think it means daddy he says it randomly), 3. downstairs (doesn't really sound like that but is starts with a d sound and is two syllables and he says it when he is at the top of the stairs and wants to go down), 4.book (sounds like gook), 5. car (sounds like cark), 6.cookie (sounds like cook), 7. cracker (sounds like crk), 8. milk (again doesn't really sound like it, more like mama), 9. This (dis) , 10. that (dat), 11. truck (sounds like cruck), 12. bye bye, 13. yes (although I am not 100% sure about this one because it just sounds like s), 14. Hi (well he used to say it and now he just waves) 15. Dog

Hudson: 1. ball (ba) , 2. dada (but not in the right context), 3. mama (milk), 4. bye bye (buby), 5. up (bup), 6. wow (although that might be him just practicing a sound) 7. baba (bottle) 8. that (dat) 9. car/truck (he mumbles something and points to both of them, it sounds like carunk) 10.dog

Infertility Support Group

My friend Betty just started a facebook support group for women struggling with infertility. If you search the name on facebook you can send her a request to join.


Dealing With Infertility: Past, Present & Future

15/16 months Months Old

Lately I have been loving reading other people's blogs but am not motivated to post on mine. I feel like I just repeat myself every month but then I am mad at myself for not recording everything when I look back.

15 & 16 months
Fynn
We moved into our new house at the end of April and it took about 2 weeks to get settled in and for you to get used to your new room. You slept at Grandma and Grandpas for 2 nights and I missed you like crazy. You are so funny and you crack me up daily. Like every month I have to say you have so much energy and you are into everything. It took me 2 entire weeks to baby proof the house and you still find things to get into. You climb on everything and it scares the beep out of me. You have fallen off of the couch and every other piece of furniture in the house. I have a safety lock on everything but you still find trouble. You are so quick that you have snuck into the bathroom more than once and unrolled at least 3 full rolls of toilet paper when daddy forgot to secure the latch.
Daddy built you a little slide and climber in the backyard (it took him about 5 hours....lol) and you love going down it upside down and backwards. You also love swimming in our kiddie pool and sitting in your watertable.
Last Sunday was Father's Day and you scared daddy to death. We were at Grandma and Grandpa's house and you kept darting for their pool. You love swimming but you have to learn the safety rules! Work with me here because daddy already loves you so much that he worries about your safety so this isn't helping our cause my boy.
You are still walking on your toes bud but we got you some better shoes so hopefully that will get you walking on your feet. I have to say that I think your toe walking is so cute but I know it isn't the best thing for your legs and feet.
You are starting to talk a little bit but mommy wants to make sure she is doing everything to help you progress a bit faster. She has booked a speech referral just to get some tips. Currently you say: momma (very rarely and it could be milk), dada, book, ball, car, baba (bottle), byebye, hi and yes. Mommy has to remember that you guys were born early and that twins and boys generally talk a little later.
You love books my boy and I couldn't be happier. Mommy was waiting for this stage and I love it each time (about a million times a day) you sit yourself in my lap and flip the pages.

Hudson
Well my mellow guy is officially gone. You have been a bit "emotional" this month and we aren't used to seeing your "express" yourself so much. You are a master at throwing a fit and you fall on the floor sobbing and screaming at the drop of a dime. It is alway over small things and they don't last long but it is quite a site. You also love to follow your brother around and steal his toys or take whatever he has in his hands (bottles and food included). I think you are just showing your love and admiration for him......lol.
You have fallen in love with a stuffed bear that we call Monroe. You sleep all cuddled up with him and it is literally the cutest thing I have EVER seen. You are also more snuggly than ever before and it melts my heart. Nearly once a week I still find myself in tears because I can't believe how lucky I am to have my babies in my arms. I know other previously infertile moms say that they almost forget the pain of  their journey but I have to say I think of it often
You have the cutest/funniest little bum ever. I know if you ever read this blog as an adult you will hate to read this but as a mom I have to mention it. It is squishy and looks unbelievably adorable when you march up and down the hallway after your nighly bath. Daddy and I get a real chuckle because you are so cute.
Your eating is funny lately and you usually have one big meal a day and then just peck at your food at other meals. Both you and your brother have picked up the bad habbit of throwing everything off of your highchair tray when you don't want it or are finished eating. It is NOT cute. We will work on that my boy.
You eyes changed colour this month. People told me after 9 months eye colour is set and that isn't the case. You and your brother were my blue eyed boys but yours have changed to a grey/green/hazel colour. They are beautiful and I love that you look even more like your dada (who has amazing eyes too).
This month we also had a consult for a little surgery that you will be having at the end of November. I can't lie my perfect baby boy I do not know how I am going to deal with this. I don't want anyone to cause my baby any pain and the idea of you hurting for even a minute makes me want to cry. I know that the doctors wouldn't recommend something you don't need but when we were in the hospital my instict was to wrap you in my arms and run out of there. I know that isn't rational but when it comes to my boys my heart takes over. Luckily daddy is level headed and makes me use my brain and stay rational.
We have our 16 month drs appointment next week and I am curious to see your measurements. You guys seem to be little peanuts compared to other kids your same age. Maybe mommy just sees you as babies.

I LOVE you my boys and you are all of my dreams come true

 Fynn on the "roller coaster" in the backyard

 Hudson with his best friend Monroe the bear

The boys being naughty playing with the umbrella (spear) from their water table

 Daddy and Huddy

Huddy at the park

 Best Buds

 Fynn at the park

Cousin Georgia and Hudson

 Fynn climbing on the same step where he got that cut over his eye. I don't "think" it will scar.

Fynn sitting in his water table. I have wild children!!!!

Look alike?

So I know it goes without saying that I love my boys more than anything and I wouldn't change anything about them for the world. Okay, there are moments when I wish they were less adventurous and "spirited" but at the end of the day I love them for being themselves.
However, if I am being 100% honest with myself I have to admit that sometimes (like once or twice since they were born) I wonder what a baby born using my eggs and my husband's sperm would look like. I know this might sound ungrateful or senseless to some but I have to be honest. It's not that I want anything different than what I have with my boys. I could not love them anymore and I am 100% happy with how things turned out. My boys were meant to be my boys and if we hadn't gone through the egg donor process with my sister they wouldn't be here. I am forever grateful to her and I wouldn't change anything. It is just what I consider a nutural curiousity. I have a feeling people who adopt continue to wonder the same thing.
Anyways the reason I write this is because my sister is helping my mom put all of her photographs on her computer and she sent a picture of me at 6 months. I immediately started to cry (like full on weep)  The first thing I saw in that picture was my son Hudson. I know this is silly and it shouldn't matter but I do see myself in him. People always tell me he looks like me but I shake it off. I think to myself "that's what everyone tells the mother". However today when I saw it too it brought me to tears. Okay, please don't think I am a narsassist or something. It doesn't mean I love him more or less. Fynn looks nothing like anyone in our family and I could never love him any more than I do. It just made me emotional because I thought to myself, maybe this is what my "egg children" would look like anyways.
Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have cared if my kids were a different race it was just a curiousity. I think a child takes on their parent's expressions, and traits and ends up looking like them regardless of how they came to them. We have family friends who adopted and at times in my life I thought they must have been mistaken because their children looked soooo much like them.
Anyways here is a picture, you might not see it but I sure do. Maybe it is just the eyebrows....lol

                                                                   Me at 6 months

 

Hudson at 3 months

Hudson and I last summer. Man I look tired (that was a very LONG week at my in-laws cottage without my husband). . Being a stay at home mom has caused me to be a fatty I know this because that sweatshirt no longer fits me at all :(

 

14 Months

You boys are so busy it is amazing to watch you go. You really get around quickly and get into EVERYTHING. That has been the case for months but it still amazes me what you find and how quickly you find it. I am realizing that you aren't my babies anymore as you toddle around the house. You are more sturdy on your feet now but you still have your accidents. Hudson this month you seemed to have a permenant bruise on your forehead from one spill or another.
Hudson
Well you personality has changed a bit this month. You are still my happy smiley guy but you also have other sides to you. You like to follow your brother around and take interest in the toys he is playing with. You seem to have a stronger grip on things and often manage to "acquire" whatever it is he is playing with, much to his dismay. Then you throw an absolute fit if I give it back to him. Thank goodness we have two of almost everything!  You love being outside (thank goodness the weather is finally getting warmer)and you love playing on the front porch.  You seem to stay close to mommy when we are out in public although you love being around other kids. You make sure to check in with me regularly making sureI am not too far from you. Another thing I have noticed is you are a little hesitant about walking on sand at the park but don't worry you'll get used to it. You do like tasting the sand however......lol. Another thing that really cracks me up, although it is quite bizarre, is you digging in the couch cushins for crumbs and then eating them. You are keeping mommy on top of the vacuuming otherwise who knows what you would find in there. It cracks me up because I just imagine you going to visits a friend's house and bee lining it to their couch for a snack......yuck. I don't know why I find this so funny, it is just so random. You are really working on your talking this month and you are starting to say more "words". For now the only words I recognize as words are "Mama, Dada, Dat (that), Dis (this), Ba (Ball), Baba (Bottle), P (up), Yum.
Fynn
Man you are fast, and always moving, you literally run around the house all of your waking hours. You are an all or nothing kind of guy. You are either yelping with happiness or melting down with frustration. You want to be able to do what you want when you want. You laugh so hard when you are happy and squel with delight. You also whine a lot and patient is not a word I would use to describe you. You love sitting in my lap and are just taking a real interest in books (thank goodness because mommy has been dying for this to happen). You guys have been in a great sleep pattern for 6 months now but I think things are shifting slightly. We used to just place you in your crib after our standard 100 bounces on the yoga ball but suddenly you are fighting your sleep a little bit. I have a feeling you might be transitioning down to one nap a day but mommy isn't ready for that. You crack me up buddy because you are so wild. For the last couple of days we have been waiting out front for daddy to welcome him home from work and it is like rangling a wild animal. You have NO fear and want to check out everything. The other day we were in the park and you saw a dog. You haven't had much exposure to animals so I was very curious to see how you would react. You loved him, and went right up and patted him on the head and looked right into his eyes. I am glad you were comfortable but also wondered if this was a natural reaction. You got 4 new teeth this month and we sure did notice it more than in previous months. You guys are still very good eaters and basically eat whatever you are given (meats, vegetables, fish, fruit and dairy).  You did seem to have a bit of a reaction to peanut butter (a rash) and because of grandpas allergy we will probably avoid it until we see the doctor next month.  Mommy still gives you some formula but you have transitioned well to milk. You aren't quite as interested in talking but you are making lots of sounds and have a few words "Mama, Dada, baba (bottle), Ba (Ball)". I think your new found interest in books will help us catch up on the word thing this month.

I love you my boys and it is so neat to watch you grow and to see your personalities emerge.




Excuse the pictures, I can't find my battery charger so these are from my phone. Plus the boys don't stay still so aren't the easiest subjects

Fynn playing at the Science Centre

                                                Hudson wishing everyone a Happy Easter 

                                            Fynn not in the mood to wish everyone a Happy Easter!

                                  
                                       Fynn found the snacks when mommy was putting Hudson down for his nap!

                                                     Hudson enjoy a rare sunny day!

                                    
                                        Another picture of Fynn with something in his mouth.

 

Lol, this is Hudson when he is very tired after a big trip to the zoo!

Oops a repeat I suck at technology!

Kourtney a Surrogate for Khloe (ugh!!!)

Just saw a clip from "Keeping up with the Kardashians" where Kourtney discusses the possibility of being a surrogate for Khloe, yep I read and watch those disgusting entertainment magazines. Anyways, I hate what I saw. Don't get me wrong I think it would be awesome if that's what Khloe wants. I just hate that the conversation took place and in my opinion exploited Khloe. She didn't ever mention wanting a surrogate (I know this is a scripted show don't worry) and I hate that others are discussing her options. Maybe I am being hypocritical because I am sure my sister had a conversation with her husband before offering her eggs to me (actually I am not sure of that because my sister usually makes her own decisions, but she probably told him that she was going to offer). I also think that Scott's reaction was disgusting, basically saying it was disturbing and kind of gross (those weren't his words but his sentiment).  Basically he acted really childish and not very empathetic to Khloe. Don't get me wrong surrogacy isn't for everyone but it isn't a joke and it shouldn't be thought of as weird. What I do remember him saying was "so your going to have a baby and then give them your baby", ugh are people so ignorant. He then said the classic, why don't they just adopt a child that needs a family (why does he get to have an opinion on how she decides to build HER family).
For some reason this makes me sooooooo mad!

Having a twin is the best!

The boys have so much fun playing together now and it is hilarious to watch them. There favourite time of day to play is right before bedtime and I took this video to capture the moment.