Friday, July 30, 2010

It's Over!

Well I am happy to report summer school is over! At this point I am not sure I would do it again but I guess I won't really know until September rolls. Then I can assess whether I feel like I have had a chance to rest and plan for next year. I mean it is hard to complain when I still have 4 weeks off to relax and get ready for the next school year. So what's up for the rest of the summer, not much! Hubby is working like crazy and we are planning a big trip in December so my extra cash flow from summer school will be put aside for that.
I think I am slowly turning more and more bitter and I am trying not to give in to it. Last night we had a work party to celebrate the end of summer school and one of the male teacher's wife is due this week so there was a lot of baby talk. Why am I so jealous, I hate this about myself. Not only that but one of the female teacher's who has 4 children and is recently divorced is pregnant with her 5th. It really makes me uncomfortable because she knows I have been struggling to get pregnant and I know she is nervous to talk to me about being pregnant and she is kind of right, I don't want to hear about how it just happened. She has a new boyfriend and I am happy that they will now have 8 children between them but I am super jealous.
I have been having really weird pains in my lady areas and they are so hard to explain. My next appointment with my fertilty dr is on Aug 12 and I have no idea how to describe them. They are sharp shooting pains that start in various areas of my abdomen including my ovaries and pelvis and then they end up with a tingling numb feeling in my vajayjay. Then of course there are the sharp sudden cramps in my ovaries that aren't any fun at all. It is weird because my whole reproductive area feels like it is just off somehow, which I guess it is but I had never really felt it so much before. Don't get me wrong my period is usually painful but it was predictable and the pain was localized.

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