Thursday, July 22, 2010


So last night was my uncle's funeral. My dad's only brother died last week and we gathered together as a family. It was not a tradition funeral it was small because over the past 10 years my uncle has struggled with depression and possibly alcoholism. He seperated from my aunt (his wife of 25 years) and withdrew from the family. We made several attempt to interveen but he just wanted to be left alone. To be honest when my dad called and informed me that he had passed away initially I thought he had taken his own life. This was not the case which is a relief but it is a very sad time because we are all feeling like we could have done more while he was here. Anyways, so we had a small gathering for just family in a funeral home and then headed to a sports bar together (he was a sports fanatic). There were about 25 of us and the vibe was good, we were all recalling old stories, laughing and bonding as a family. For most of the night I sat with my hubby but while he went out for a smoke my dad's cousin came and sat next to me. It is not a stretch to say we don't know each other very well. We have probably met less then 5 times in the past 30 years. So he comes over man handles me (squeezing me in a tight grip) and starts drilling me with questions. He started out asking me about the insurance business (he was clearly thinking I was my sister) and I corrected him and told him I was a teacher. He then proceeded to tell me how terrible the education system is and that we as teachers have dropped the ball. Of course he was an expert in the field (according to himself) and he was telling what I "needed" to do next year to make a difference. I listened politely and bit my lip. How the hell does he know what I do in my classroom. Then he asked me where I was living and I told him. He was disgusted (we live in the suburbs and he lives in the fancy area of downtown). He asked why we would buy way out in the "nosebleed" area of the city. Then I corrected him and said that we rented and he looked at my with pure disgust. The truth is hubby is going to be transferred next year so we figured why buy to sell next year but I wasn't going to explain myself. I just let him tell me how I was wasting my money and not planning for my future. My temperature was beginning to rise and I started to plot my escape. After grilling me for 15 minutes on my irresponsible spending habits he decided to change the topic. This is where it gets painful. He brings up the fact that when we were talking about education that I mentioned "if I have children". He asks me why I would say if. I try to change the subject and he starts a lecture about how my generation is never happy and how we want it all. He says I should shake my head and get down to business. He tells me how I am not getting any younger and I should stop living a self indulgent life style. Finally I can't handle it anymore and I sharply say that I have a medical condition that makes conceiving difficult. This is when his wife moves in and sits on the other side of me. Now there is no escape, I am absolutely cornered. You think my medical condition warning would shut him up but he was just getting started. He asked me what kind of condition I have and when I said endometriosis his wife took over. She started writing down websites and suggesting vitamins. Then she suggested that I use my sister's uterus. By the way my uterus might be the only part of my reproductive system that isn't damaged (ignorant bitch). I start wondering if she knows what endometriosis is. At this point she has decided that I should definitely use my sister's eggs too (like it is her decisions). I couldn't take it anymore and broke down balling my eyes out. Of course at this very moment my dad, who is now drunk looks over and announces in front of the entire crowd to cut me off. I had been drinking Diet Coke all night and seriously didn't need everyone staring at me. G is still nowhere to be seen and I am ready to go postal. Who are these people and how can I be related to them. I guess the only saving grace was that it was a funeral so tears can be excused. So here I am in the middle of a sports bar having a mental breakdown and these people are still drilling me with questions. Finally......and I mean finally......G reappears and gets me the hell out of there. I think I smoked the first cigarette of my life and I am still shaking with anger!!!!

1 comment:

  1. People are rude. I find myself telling people lies about our IF instead of trying to get into the details. When they ask if kids are in our future, I just say, "someday, hopefully." Most people truly have no idea. My older sister happens to be my best friend, and I still don't want to use her eggs....or her uterus. It is a big deal that nobody else can understand unless they've been there. People are annoying, I'm sorry!