Well, Friday is the last days with my class and then school is out for the kids. It is bitter-sweet because I love my class this year. I am happy that they are moving on and growing up but the year went so fast. Plus I am not sure I am completely looking forward to the summer (this is crazy talk for a teacher). This is the first summer ever that I wasn't full of excitment for the summer to begin, but I am worried I will become more depressed. I am so worried that I will become even more isolated and withdrawn from life. When I am at school I am fully engaged and in the moment. I have meaningful interactions with the kids and my job feels rewarding, but when I walk out of the school I shut down. All I think about is my empty womb and my failure to become a mother,it consumes my every thought! My boss mentioned that there might be a summer school position for me if I am interested and I think this might be the answer. Although I would love to relax all summer I assume that with this overactive mind I will not be able to relax anyways. However, my mother in law bought a trailer (how white trash of us) in cottage country to use for the summer and I would love to spend lot of time up north getting some fresh air. Maybe I should just enjoy the summer, drink some wine and read lots of great books. It's a tough call!
I called the fertility clinic because I was supposed to make an appointment to arrange our next plan of attack and they said to call back in a month because they are booked up for June and July. I hate to complain about our health care in Canada because hubby and I haven't paid for anything yet in our journey to conceive but the waits are frustrating!