Kim Kardashian needs Sensitivity training

So I am not really one to judge other peoples struggles with fertility, a struggle is a struggle and I am not in a position to say that one person's journey is worse than anothers.  I know how emotional it can be to try and not conceive for any length of time. Add that to a diagnosis of infertility and it is just devastating.  HOWEVER, when you get pregnant with someone you have only been dating for 6 months, in my books you are not struggling with infertility.  You might have had some things reducing your odds of getting pregnant and that sucks but don't minimize what we go through. You would think when she has a sister that is clearly struggling that she would be more sensitive to the issue.  I swear if I was her sister I would want to punch her in the throat (just a little bit!).

I'm pretty famous you know (well kind of)

I am sure you aren't aware that I am pretty important this month....lol. My sister and I are in this months issue of Glamour Magazine, well in a tiny blurb on the side of an artice, but that counts right!  Actually one of the editors of the magazine happens to read my blog (who knew) and contacted me over a year ago.  I did a phone interview, then my sister did a phone interview, and even hubby was interviewed. It probably sounds a lot more "glamour"ous than it really is.  The amount of time it took; including numerous emails going back and forth, verifying my medical history, the interviews themsleves, and fact checking all for a couple of quotes seems a bit ridiculous.  That just gives me a glimpse of what goes into making magazines, and it seems crazy.
I had to laugh when I saw the title of the article.  The premise is asking the reader if they would ever use their sister as an egg donor. Talk about trivializing the issue, like I woke up one day and thought hell why not.  Seriously unless someone is dealing with infertility it isn't something anyone can truly understand. Did I ever think that I would use my sister as an egg donor, 15, 20 or even 5 years ago, not a chance. Not that I was against it, it just wasn't in any plan I ever had. Honestly I don't really even want to read peoples opinions, I don't care what they think.  Maybe I am a skeptic but I just don't think it is possible for the general population to get "my journey" (or the journey of other infertile women). Actually come to think of it, I do care what they think.  I guess I didn't use to, but now that my boys are here they deserve the respect and dignity of any baby or person for that matter and I feel protective of what some people might say.  I really don't want to hear about it being creepy or about how I could have "just adopted" (like that is a simple and easy decision in itself ).  My point is that it was a personal choice that was right for me and my family and I don't really want to be criticized or even scrutinized for my decision. I don't know why I am assuming that there will be that kind of feedback but I just know some people out there aren't as open minded as I would like them to be.  Don't get me wrong for the most part people have been so supportive and kind about my journey.  They seem to understand the deep desire to be a mother and celebrate what a wonderful thing my sister did for us.  However, we all know how rude and judgmental people can be when hiding behind a computer.  Plus I have had the odd rude encounter. My boss for one, she said that me carrying my sister and husbands babies (they are my damn babies by the way) was like a Jerry Springer episode and then there was my pediatrician who continuously asked why my husband and sister just didn't get a hotel room instead of racking up all of our treatment bills. I guess it is just plain old ignorance and that's actually why I did the article, hoping I would shed some light on the issue and let people know difficult infertility is, how incredible science is, and most of all how amazing my sister is.
They also present egg donation as the latest trend, which is so ridiculous! I would describe it more of a huge medical marvel mixed with a pure act of altruism.  I didn't jump on some bandwagon to be cool.
I actually think that I am being a bit critical of the article because nothing could really ever descibe what it is like to make such a big decision and nobody really knows your journey until they walk in your shoes.  Just a thought but I think a new title for the article could be "The Difficult Journey of  an Infertile Women to Make her Dreams of  Motherhood Come True: A Story of an Extremely Generous Sister and Her Truly Grateful Sister".
Anyways if you happen to be a Glamour Magazine follower or in the grocery store checking out take a look at page 120 " Would You Have a Baby With Your Sister’s Egg?
A real-life story you’ll never forget—about a trend that’s on the rise"

10 months, a wild vacation and a great holiday season

Where to start, what a month! On December 3 we headed for my parents place in Florida and what a trip it was.  We created a lot of great memories but are certainly glad to be home. The boys were champions on the plane but we ended up with a nasty tummy flu for the first week of the trip. We were literally glued to the bathroom for 48 hours and the boys had a terrible case of diarrhea that lasted 10 full days.  We were scared of dehydration but they recovered and we enjoyed the remaining 2 weeks. My mom was amazing and I don't know what we would have done without her.  I have no idea how parents deal with 2 sick kids when they are sick themselves, it is pure hell.  While we were away the boys turned 10 months old and they are turning into "real people".  I know they are technically still babies but they are growing and changing so quickly it is hard to believe.

Fynn
Sleep this month has been really hit and miss, with more miss than hit.  I can't really blame you boys though because when all is said and done you will have slept in your cribs for less than a week out of the entire month.  The new routine seems to be down to bed at 6:15pm and up again at 9:30pm for a bottle, then up again at 12am and then up for the day around 7am.  It is not fun and we are going to do our best to correct things now that we are home. 
Eating has also regressed a lot this month.  With being sick you backed off of solids a bit and took a lot more bottles and purees. That being said previous to being sick you were eating lots of new foods including salmon every vegetable you could get your hands on and you are a carb addict just like your mommy.
Surprisingly you aren't walking yet and this makes mommy very happy.  You are still pulling up on everything, scaling furniture and getting into everything. You love walking holding my fingers but you lean forward and sit every time I let go of your fingers.
You love to talk my boy.  You carry on full conversations with whoever will listen and you have become Mr. Smiley (at times). You love showing off your cute gap tooth grin and when you are in a social mood you smile and talk to anyone around you. 
You are very clever and you seem to figure out any way to get yourself into trouble. You find everything and anything that is dangerous and this makes you very happy. You keep me on my toes and test me in every way.


Hudson
You have had the same struggles with sleep and food as your brother this month and we will be working hard to get you back on track this month.  Being sick and away from home have taken a little toll on you but you are a trooper.  You seem to have had the worst of the tummy flu and your hydrocele was acting up while you were away and we even ended up at the hospital.  You let the ultra sound tech know that he was pushing his luck and urinated right in his face.  It wasn't a great moment but I guess it is part of the job.
You are still our smiling little peanut but you do have your moments.  You loose your mind when we change your diaper and you have your fussy moments.  There really isn't an inbetween with you.  Most of your day is spent laughing and smiling but once in a while you let us know when you aren't impressed. When you wake up in the night for a bottle you scream so loud it sounds like someone is hurting you.  Mommy races to get the bottle in your mouth because it is so disheartening.
You move at rapid speeds like your brother but aren't walking yet either.  You love to follow your brother and he shows you how to get into "trouble".
We had a lot of great outings while on vacation and it has been great having daddy home with us for the past 2 months. Daddy goes back to work next week and it is going to be such a sad day for everyone. We have really bonded as a family and it has been such an amazing time.

 

 

Merry Christmas

 

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9 months (late)

Life has turned into a total whirlwind.  Days blend into nights and time is still flying.  Hubby is off for the months of November and December and I am loving having someone to tag team the boys.  We have daily outings and it is great to get the boys out and about.  We have started to house hunt for a bigger/better house and it seems like a daunting task. The boys turned 9 months this past Saturday and I haven't even had a chance to take their monthly picture.

Hudson

We have started to call you Hollywood Hudson.  You are such a flirt and you love to be around people (well except at Gymboree.....lol). You absolutely love your daddy and he makes you giggle all of the time. You also love playing with your brother and you often like to "borrow" his toys.
You hate to have your diaper changed, I mean hate.  You used to roll over and try to escape diaper changes but now you throw an absolute fit, you scream bloody murder and act like we are torturing you.  You also had a cold for almost a week and we barely saw you smile (my poor little buddy).
Your crawling has accelerated and you really book it.  You pull up on absolutely everything and you are very sturdy. You are more cautious than your brother and when you are done playing with a standing toy you carefully bend down and drop onto your bum.  You love to bop up and down when you are standing and sometimes when you are holding onto something you pull it towards you and slide onto your back (this scares mommy).
You LOVE cheerious. I think if we let you, you would eat an entire box. You still use your index finger to drag food towards you and we think it is hilarious. You like all of your purees and you are starting to like eating more foods that we chop up for you. You have a bit of a choke reflex but you are getting better.
Your sleep seems to have regressed a bit.  You used to sleep from 5:30pm to around 6am but now you wake up for a big bottle in the night. You go to sleep between 6:15-6:45, wake up for a quick bottle  (you barely even open your eyes) and then sleep until 7:00am (or even later). We haven't tried letting you cry it out because we are usually up when you want your night-time bottle so it isn't a big deal to give you a quick bottle.  I am sure we will probably regret it but I like the extra cuddle time. You are so busy during the day that having you so peaceful during the night just melts my heart. Your napping is so much better than 2 or 3 months ago and I love the fact that your morning nap is usually 2 hours.

 

Hudson and Fynn

 

I love you my sweet boy and you make me smile each and every day.

Fynn

You have turned into a little momma's boy. You constantly crawl to my feet when I am sitting on the couch and you want to come onto my lap. You and your brother are obsessed with trying to get to the laptop, our phones, and the remote control.  It just makes daddy and I realize that we don't need those things when we are around you.
Like your brother you love to stand and pull up on everything. You are sturdy but are a bit more of a dare devil than your brother. You dive from one toy to the next and if one standing toy is near another you stretch and move from one toy to another instead of dropped to your bum and crawling over to the other toy.
Your night sleep is about the same as it has been for the past several months. You sleep through the night every couple of nights but usually get up for one nightly bottle. Sometimes it takes you a little while to settle back to sleep but usually you go right back down. For a couple of weeks we thought your naps were becoming more predictable and longer but some days you fight sleeping all day. On these days you become overtired and you whine and fuss like you used to do (not my favourite). Unlike previous months you will however sleep in the car or in the stroller so that is usually our plan of attack when you just can't get settled. We have started rocking you longer which is a big no no (oh well, whatever works).
Your top teeth are completely in and they are ridiculously cute. You have a cute space between them and we lovingly call you Mr. David Letterman.
You love food, it seems like you would eat anything we give you and your appetite seems endless. You love eating avacado and anything else that is messy and this drives daddy crazy. You love feeding yourself and it ends up in your hair and you need a bath every time you eat.
You hate Gymboree class and mommy wants a refund. You have no time for anyone who isn't mommy or daddy and you barely even look at other people. You do warm up to people after awhile but we only really see your true personality emerge when you are at home with us. You tolerate your brother, who loves to follow you around and takes interest in everything you play with. Sometimes you even smile and laugh with him but you are a hard nut to crack. Usually when you brother decides he would like to "borrow" what you are playing with you just crawl away but sometimes when you are really focused on what you are doing you dig your heels in and make sure he doesn't get it from you.
I love you my Prime Finnister, my Fynny boo boo, my Fynndigler. You are my boy and I love to see you each and every day. 


Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends

This is Insanity

Okay, I know I have already written a post that says this exact sentiments but I am living in a mad house.  These boys are like wild animals that don't stop.  They literally never sit still. Even when they are eating they are batting away the spoon, kicking their high chairs and yelping at the top of their lungs. Short of moving into a bouncy castle I don't know what else we can do.  We were given an octogon shaped "pen" from another twin mom and that isn't even helping. First of all I am not 100% comfortable with the idea of it but I figured I would give it a whirl, at this point I would try anything.  Anyways the "pen" quickly became a cage and my boys became cage fighters.  They aren't intending to hurt each other, at least I hope not, but they are mauling each other all the same. Plus they pull up on the bars and then leap face first into the ground.  I tried padding the cage with pillows, I lined the entire octogon with them. That didn't work because it left about a 2ft by 2 ft space for them to play and they hated it. They are pulling themselves up on every and any item and they seem to be drawn to dangers that I hadn't even considered.  Seriously, one of them was trying to chip paint off the wall to eat it yesterday.  They both dart off to opposites side of the house whenever they can and are extreme dare devils.  Then they look at me with shock and disgust when they fall.  By the end of the day I a sweating buckets, by the way I have gained weight so figure that out, and a nervous basket case. I decided I was at my breaking point trying to keep them entertained and alive so I splurged and signed them up for Gymboree.  Well they HATE it.  Seriously, even my little guy who we now call Hollywood Hudson, because he never stops smiling and flirting, cries the entire time we are there.  They literally are rendered motionless as soon as we enter the room.  It is a total mind beep because I don't get what would be setting them off.  The room is like one giant play mat with slides, tunnels and toys.  They refuse to crawl and cling to me for dear life.  When the "teacher" comes around to them they look like deer in headlights.  How can they be so terrified, they have each other and they love being around their cousins so I don't think they are affraid of the other kids.  I am with them the entire time yet they are almost shaking they are so frightened.  Theie favourite thing to do at home with me is to walk while I hold their hands, they could do it all day long.  The minute we walk into that Gymboree room their legs turn to spaghetti and they refuse to put any weight on them. They don't participate in any of the activities because they are stiff as a board and refuse to be put down.  I thought after the first couple of classes they would come around but we have been to 4 classes now and nothing has improved.

Calling all Infertiles with Egg Donor Sisters

I have recently been interviewed for a magazine article and they are looking for other infertiles who have become pregnant using their sister's eggs.  If you are one of these women or know someone who is and would like to be in a magazine please message me.
Thanks in advance.