Not Pretty

Things have shifted, as to be expected, in our house and obviously I am my last priority. I don't really care if I am in my pajamas at the end of the day or even if I shower every day. I am in dire need of a hair cut, a hair dye, and a tread mill but I don't care. I might be the only mother of twins who is doing anything she can to pack on the pounds. I assume most women are so busy that they loose pounds in the months after child birth.  I know most of you are thinking, cut yourself some slack. Trust me  I have been cutting myself way too much slack, and pie, and cake....haha.  My time with my boys is the most important and I am the happiest I have ever been.
The only "problem"  is my weight is out of control. Before you roll your eyes, let me clarify that my actual weight isn't the problem it's the fact that I am gaining weight and quickly.  Most moms complain that they don't have time to eat during the day, well this is true. However, and this is a big, even though I don't have time to make a proper meal I eat constantly. I literally ate three chocolate bars today....I know disgusting.... at that was just breakfast The worst part is I don't even like chocolate bars, they were just available so I ate them. I feel like I haven't seen a piece of fruit or a vegetable in two months (maybe because I haven't). I have actually gained weight since giving birth. Unexpectedly after giving birth I lost weight pretty fast, actually surprisingly fast. At my last weigh in before giving birth I was 205 glorious pounds. I know gasp,  I gained 65 during the pregnancy!!!!! Then by 4 weeks after giving birth I was only up three pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight (keep in mind I had gained 15 pounds the previous year or two from emotinal eating during my failed IVF rounds). During my pregnancy I watched every bite I ate because of the gestational diabetes so this probably helped maintain my weight.  I have a feeling a lot of my weight was babies (more than 13 ounds worth, water, fluid, and placentas). Anyways, I was down to 143 pounds after just 4 weeks with absolutely no effort. HOWEVER, equally as surprising is my ability to have packed on the pounds in the the past  3 weeks. I stepped on the scale today and I am 150 pounds. Trust me this isn't the end of the world, my boys are worth every pound and so many more. It's just that it has nothing to do with my boys. I have been eating pure junk all the time (ice-cream, donuts, chips, pizza etc.). It is daily and it isn't healthy. I need to control myself. I have no excuse.....or maybe I do. I guess I have two adorable excuses but I don't want to go down this unhealthy path.

 Here I am holding Hudson when he was 6 weeks old

 Here I am about 3 weeks before giving birth.  Yes I got bigger. My face was so swollen!!

 I was only 27 weeks pregnant here. I thought I was going to burst but I had a lot of growing still to do.

 Here I am in the hospital the day before my c-section. Everyone says I don't look that huge but my shirt is begging to be free.  I could barely stand for more than 5 mins.

Here I am four weeks after giving birth.