My MTV Obsession

Okay, is anyone else addicted to the reality show 16 and pregnant?????.....anyone???
I have an absolutely sick fascination with these girls who have sex(sometimes for the first time) and get pregnant. This just boggles my mind, I mean I know the facts of life, gosh I even teach them, but really once one time and you hit the jackpot. Your main concern is what shirt to wear to school tomorrow and whether the cute boy in your class just likes you or like-likes you.
I stare at these girls moving myself closer to the t.v to study them I look to see what fertile secret they have figured out that I am oblivious to.
Once the baby is born I watch these girls resent their little angels because they aren't able to go to the movies or to hang out at the mall with their friends. I want to steal their babies, I mean wouldn't I be doing both of them a favour. That baby would be my world, what I would live for and I never have to see another movie or mall again.
Then there is the "baby daddy" who is clearly not interested in raising these children. Most of the situations scream.. "I had a baby so I could get my boyfriend to stay with me/love me"....new bullitin babies don't make a relationship.
How can I be envious of a 16 year old (god I spend all day with teenagers and honestly they are wonderful but not enviable). I even envy their stretch marks, okay don't get me wrong I have stretch marks, but none that count. I want stretch marks on my stomache as a sign of my fertility (Do you think they do stretch mark tatoos???).
Okay clearly I am insane!!!