Okay, so every time I have a procedure that involves anyone going near my cervix I feel like I am going to freakin die!!! It hurts so badly that I start crying immediately, I swear like a sailor, and I have the biggest urge to kick the closest doctor. Today was no different I had what most people would consider a routine Pap and I didn't even make it through it. Actually although I have had adverse reactions to paps before, it has never been like this. Usually the only painful part is when they "pinch" my ovaries. This time when she was trying to "take a peek" at my cervix I could not handle it. I have what has been referred to as of lately as a turned cervix and it is so painful. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if so is it an indication of something more serious. At this point I feel like all of the doctors in my life are less than forthcoming so I am a bit worried. So basically the doctor tried 3 different times to look at my cervix and then she refused to go on because of my pain.
Okay on a somewhat related topic does anyone else sick of being the sick wife. My husband asked me today (in more delicate words) if I thought I would ever be physically normal and pain free. Now don't get me wrong, I go to work, have a social life, and am generally healthy but my endo causes almost constant pain. Every day of the week I have sharp shooting pains and a tender abdomen. During my period I am in a shit load of pain (cramping, upset tummy, backache, shooting pains down my legs etc..). I try to keep my complaining to a minimum but it is hard to go unnoticed. I am either running to the toilet for a bathroom emergency or when my cramps are so bad, to throw up. I am physically drained for atleast one month a month. No kidding my husband wants to know if I will ever be normal. I don't even know the answer. I guess maybe if I had everytihng removed from my lady parts but that wouldn't solve my problems it would just give me new ones!
Wow, what a bummer I am tonight. It could be because I have report cards due Monday and that's never fun.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Timeline
This is an estimated timeline for the next 2 months
Oct 30- Pap
Nov 2-Appointment with IVF consultant (payment and pick up drugs) *
Nov 7-Start injections Superfact/GNRH/Lupron
Nov 20-Should get period
Nov 21-FSH injections
Nov 25 Start daily blood tests
Nov 30-Start daily Ultra sounds to see how follicles are developing
Dec 2- HSG shot
Dec 4- Egg retrival
Dec 7-Embryo Transfer
Dec 19- Home Pregnancy Test
Dec 20-Beta at clinic
Jan 3-Ultra sound and beta
Oct 30- Pap
Nov 2-Appointment with IVF consultant (payment and pick up drugs) *
Nov 7-Start injections Superfact/GNRH/Lupron
Nov 20-Should get period
Nov 21-FSH injections
Nov 25 Start daily blood tests
Nov 30-Start daily Ultra sounds to see how follicles are developing
Dec 2- HSG shot
Dec 4- Egg retrival
Dec 7-Embryo Transfer
Dec 19- Home Pregnancy Test
Dec 20-Beta at clinic
Jan 3-Ultra sound and beta
In for it!!!!!
I have been trying to keep my emotions at bay and not pin my hopes on my upcoming IVF. I have been limiting my google access because most of my searches involve baby related information.
I know that it isn't practical to think that with my egg quality and endometriosis that I will get preggo on my first attempt. However, I am sitting here thinking of possible baby names, imagining myself setting up a nursery, and snuggling with my babies. I have even been entertaining the thought of having twins. Why can't I control my thoughts, this is not healthy. I have promised myself not to do this.
I thought I was doing okay but who am I kidding. My attempts to become detached during ultra sounds and doctors appointments have become short lived. I tried not to even listen to follicle counts and measurements but now I am obsessing over that kind of information.
I was trying not to obsesses but I can't help myself.I need some insight. At my appointment this past Friday (Day 4) they told me that I have 5 follicles on my right side and four on my right side. I don't remember the measurements but they said they look to be an appropriate size. Is this good or bad? I actually didn't know they were going to talk about follicles. This is the month that I am on the pill and I don't start my injections until November 7 (isn't that when I should care about follicles). Will the follicles they see now be viable in Decemeber?
I know that it isn't practical to think that with my egg quality and endometriosis that I will get preggo on my first attempt. However, I am sitting here thinking of possible baby names, imagining myself setting up a nursery, and snuggling with my babies. I have even been entertaining the thought of having twins. Why can't I control my thoughts, this is not healthy. I have promised myself not to do this.
I thought I was doing okay but who am I kidding. My attempts to become detached during ultra sounds and doctors appointments have become short lived. I tried not to even listen to follicle counts and measurements but now I am obsessing over that kind of information.
I was trying not to obsesses but I can't help myself.I need some insight. At my appointment this past Friday (Day 4) they told me that I have 5 follicles on my right side and four on my right side. I don't remember the measurements but they said they look to be an appropriate size. Is this good or bad? I actually didn't know they were going to talk about follicles. This is the month that I am on the pill and I don't start my injections until November 7 (isn't that when I should care about follicles). Will the follicles they see now be viable in Decemeber?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Update
So I haven't really felt like writing lately. Mostly because I have been busy with school but also because nothing much is new. We decided not to do the study and we have had our first consultation regarding IVF. I still don't really understand the timeline but it sounds like if all went well we could be pregnant the 2/3 week of December. I am super excited but also very realistic. I have read so many blogs and I know that IVF is not a definite especially with my endometriosis. Ugh....as I am writing this it has just occured to me that I put my birth control pill out with the garbage ( I bet is was my subconscience agression). Now I have to go out to the garage and wade through the most disgusting bag of garbage I have seen in a long time...we had pasta and seafood last night and I dumped the extra sauce into the bag!!!! I can't concentrate until I get those freakin pills
Friday, September 24, 2010
The saga continues
I have been busy at school getting back into the swing of things. I am always surprised how long it takes for things to fall into place. The kiddies are still in shock with the changes from last year (this is the first year they change classrooms for various subjects). I feel like it is taken a bit longer to bond with this group but I seem to remember thinking that last year.
On the baby making front we decided not to do the study. We just didnt think it was the right fit for us. We went back to talk to our fertility clinic that we have been with for the past year and we are going for our first IVF consult on Oct 4. I actually feel better about the clinic because hubby came with me and I finally got most of my questions answered (although I still think the doctor has no idea who I am). He also assured us that hubby's sperm is excellent. I have read and he confirmed without my prompting that all labs have different criteria and they have consider anything over 3% great and generally never see over 4%.
On the baby making front we decided not to do the study. We just didnt think it was the right fit for us. We went back to talk to our fertility clinic that we have been with for the past year and we are going for our first IVF consult on Oct 4. I actually feel better about the clinic because hubby came with me and I finally got most of my questions answered (although I still think the doctor has no idea who I am). He also assured us that hubby's sperm is excellent. I have read and he confirmed without my prompting that all labs have different criteria and they have consider anything over 3% great and generally never see over 4%.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Cost of Fertility Drugs
Hi,
I am trying to figure out the exact (or close to) amount that the study is covering by paying for the drugs. Here is the list that they are covering:
1.Suprefact 2 vials ($56x2=$112)
2.Gonal F 2 vials (1020x2=$2040)
3.Endometrin 100 mg (100 pills x 2=$200)
4. HCG 10, 000 iu- 1 vial ($100)
Total coverage
approx $2500
***These prices are quoted from a localfertility pharmacy in my neighbourhood but the prices were from 2008 so I am sure they have gone up.
ww.glenshieldspharmacy.com
I am trying to figure out the exact (or close to) amount that the study is covering by paying for the drugs. Here is the list that they are covering:
1.Suprefact 2 vials ($56x2=$112)
2.Gonal F 2 vials (1020x2=$2040)
3.Endometrin 100 mg (100 pills x 2=$200)
4. HCG 10, 000 iu- 1 vial ($100)
Total coverage
approx $2500
***These prices are quoted from a localfertility pharmacy in my neighbourhood but the prices were from 2008 so I am sure they have gone up.
ww.glenshieldspharmacy.com
Advice
Hi,
I thought I would write down the questions we need to decide regarding IVF to make the best decision. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR INPUT :)
1. Should we implant 1 or 2 embryos?
If you impant 1 embryo you have less chance of becoming pregnant. If you implant 2 embryos you have a 13% chance of having twins (only 40% of IVF attempts end up with a successful pregnancy and 34% of those are twins). If you end up in the 13% and get pregnant with twins you are more likely to have complications (early labour, unable to carry the babies to term, birth defects, pre-eclampsia
2. Should we participate in the study?
They cover the costs of the medications (about $3000 worth). They only implant 1 embryo. If I did IVF outiside of this study I would probably be put on Lupron (it will reduce the size of my current cysts). By the way I have $2000 dollars worth of coverage for 2010 from work that would go towards the medication if I do not participate in the study. Another thing to consider is that I wanted to take the drug that the study is investigating anyways, if I am in the study I have to risk my chances of being in the placebo group. If I take the Lupron somewhere else it will cost approx $2000 extra but it might be benefitial.
3. Do I stay with Dr G? I am very frustrated that it takes so long to get an appointment. I think he is very nice but when I meet with him he seems to be in a rush. I am angry that he potentially gave us wrong information regarding the sperm analysis. It is not a convenient location. However, I do not want to go through all of the preliminary tests again and waste more time.
I would really appreciate any input. I know there is no clear answer but I would love to hear your opinions.
I thought I would write down the questions we need to decide regarding IVF to make the best decision. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR INPUT :)
1. Should we implant 1 or 2 embryos?
If you impant 1 embryo you have less chance of becoming pregnant. If you implant 2 embryos you have a 13% chance of having twins (only 40% of IVF attempts end up with a successful pregnancy and 34% of those are twins). If you end up in the 13% and get pregnant with twins you are more likely to have complications (early labour, unable to carry the babies to term, birth defects, pre-eclampsia
2. Should we participate in the study?
They cover the costs of the medications (about $3000 worth). They only implant 1 embryo. If I did IVF outiside of this study I would probably be put on Lupron (it will reduce the size of my current cysts). By the way I have $2000 dollars worth of coverage for 2010 from work that would go towards the medication if I do not participate in the study. Another thing to consider is that I wanted to take the drug that the study is investigating anyways, if I am in the study I have to risk my chances of being in the placebo group. If I take the Lupron somewhere else it will cost approx $2000 extra but it might be benefitial.
3. Do I stay with Dr G? I am very frustrated that it takes so long to get an appointment. I think he is very nice but when I meet with him he seems to be in a rush. I am angry that he potentially gave us wrong information regarding the sperm analysis. It is not a convenient location. However, I do not want to go through all of the preliminary tests again and waste more time.
I would really appreciate any input. I know there is no clear answer but I would love to hear your opinions.
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